Try Not To Fall In Love
by The Cotton Candy Kisses
Summary: [UPDATED Chapter 14 added] I suck at summaries. Remus can't fall in love, but he does. Rebellious little werewolf, right? Angst Alert. Slash Alert. new!Explosion Alert. SBRL JPLE and some BellatrixRemus.
1. Burning Sugary Amphibians

**A/N: **Bonjour my petite pallys! It is me, the Cotton Candy Kiss with some lovely lovable RemusSirius slash. Read it, you know you want to! And also, review. Because reviewing makes you cool . Also, if you want to flame, go right ahead. I will eat them. Anyways… Remus + Company are going into their sixth year, and Remus has just turned sixteen. Just thought I'd clear that up… Now, read, my young padawan learner! Or something…

**Disclaimer**: I disclaim.

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As he opened the gigantic tome, the smell of something decayed met his nostrils. Remus wrinkled his nose and pulled away from the book, waving his arms above it franticly and wishing he could do a Sweet Smell Charm without getting the Ministry of Magic on his back. Twelve more months and two more years of Hogwarts and he would be finally free. Well, not exactly. It would be almost impossible to get a job or a house because of his condition…

Shaking his head slightly, as if to dislodge those unhappy thoughts, Remus looked back at the book that his father had found in the cellars of Florish and Blotts where he worked, and bought for apparently three Knuts. His manager called it "utterly worthless garbage about the finer points of being a werewolf".

And now it was sitting, smelling of dead squirrels, on Remus's bed. The pages were yellowed and torn and the ink was fading in most places. Pinching his nostrils, the boy peered closer to decipher the words. It seemed to be the title page that he was poking with his nose.

_Useful Information about the Finer Points of Being a Werewolf_

_By Anonymous_

Remus slowly turned the page to see the table of contents, with what looked like over fifty different sections, their names all crammed into one pageMost were illegible, and one seemed to hold information about the uses of squirrels during transformation. The only chapter title that was not half faded read "Chapter Twelve: Human and Werewolf Interaction". That seemed vaguely normal, so the young werewolf carefully turned the thin, flimsy pages to Chapter Twelve.

What had promised to be interesting seemed to be drabbling about how hated werewolves are, and how friends should be picked carefully, and how to avoid being shot with silver bullets. It was only the last passage of the chapter that was vaguely interesting, though not very perplexing to little Remus.

_Lastly, it is quite dangerous for werewolves to recklessly fall in love, because there is a chance, especially in younger werewolves, that if the Love is not reciprocated then the Wolf will become so crazy that transformations may become longer (i.e. two or three days, even in the daylight) until the Werewolf in question does not return to human form. I, myself, strongly recommend _not _falling in love. For tips how to not fall in love, go to Appendix F, Section 10, Sub-section 4_

Remus snorted quietly, and pulled the place-holding ribbon into that page and letting the book close with a groan, like a door in need of an oil job. He vowed to look at it again sometime as he shoved it into his half-packed trunk, ready for Hogwarts in a few days.

He lay back down on his bed, the afternoon sun pouring through the open window across the boys face. Although his house was nice, Hogwarts was really more of a home than this place. His parents seemed to be constantly afraid of him, constantly doing things for him, trying to be nice like he was a guest and they were the hosts, never parental, always polite. Remus couldn't remember ever being reprimanded after he got bitten. Of course, that was to be expected. His parents had never been fond of werewolves, and they never would, especially since they refused to try to understand them. They acted like Remus would attack them if they got him angry, or anything.

But at Hogwarts…

Sirius, James, and Peter were never polite to him. They would tell him, in excruciating detail, what a pathetic nerd he was for studying on Sunday, or for taking notes in History of Magic, or that he really needs to cut his hair. It was strange, but it was almost _nice _to be mocked, in a friendly way of course. Anything was better than being in a house where he was treated like he was some fourth cousin staying for the weekend – awkward and quiet and empty. Only three more days of that, thank Merlin.

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Purple smoke burst up in a long, skinny stream from the train. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin waved with false smiles as their son dragged his trunk onto the train, then dispersing as soon as he was out of their sight. Remus shook his head sadly, but brushed it off as he tugged his trunk along, peering into the compartments to find one of his fellow Marauders.

Eventually he reached one of the back compartments, in which Sirius was sitting lazily, setting fire to what looked like chocolate frogs. Remus smiled warily as he stowed his trunk away.

"Hey, Sirius." He said, trying to suppress a chuckle as Sirius missed the frog that he had levitating in front of him and setting the soft red seat across from him on fire. Sirius muttered a spell quietly and the fire went out, before grinning widely at his friend.

"_Bonjour_, Remus. I have been catching up on _mon Français_ over the summer and I know three whole words!" He said brightly as another sugary amphibian blazed beside his head. Remus stared at him blankly, blinked, and then sat down carefully.

"So, is it very French to set fire to candy?" He said after a while, as Sirius didn't seem to be relenting on his arson approach to chocolate removal.

"No. My mom gave them to me. Poisoned, the lot of them. You see, Slughorn taught me this trick and I've done it on all my food since. You know, to see if something is poisoned or not." Sirius replied calmly, as though it was perfectly normal for mothers to poison their sons. It was in his family, at least.

Remus smiled bitterly. "Well, at least she pays attention enough to you to realize that you are the scum of her blood and the filth of her flesh." Sirius looked up sharply.

"Parents still treating you like that a guest?" He asked, looking around with a growl, as if his friend's parents would be in here. Remus nodded indifferently. Sirius sighed, but didn't say anything. He knew Remus didn't do anything about his parents, and that he couldn't make him. They sat in a peaceful silence for a few minutes, until James and Peter burst into the compartment, shaking with laughter. Sirius looked vaguely amused, but Remus simply stared them down until they talked.

"We bewitched Evan's trunk so whenever she touches it, it flies away from her!" Peter sputtered out. Sirius's smile brightened, and he congratulated them. Remus, however, shook his head.

"You know James, she's going to know it was you."

"Yes."

"And she hates it when you jinx people."

"Yes."

"So maybe, just maybe, she will use this as another reason to hate you."

Realization dawned on James's face. For a moment, the werewolf thought his friend might understand, but soon James was laughing again.

"But it was just so funny-"

All of a sudden a trunk burst through the door of the carriage, followed by a smug-looking red-headed girl.

"You boys are _so _juvenile! And, weren't you paying attention in Charms when Flitwick told us the exact counter curse to your silly hex so it would backfire on the caster?"

Indeed, it had backfired on James, who was now half-buried beneath the rubble of the broken door and Lily's huge, heavy trunk.

"Sometimes I think you are a little too good at Charms, Evans. _Wingardium Leviosa._" The trunk rose sullenly into the air, and James dragged himself into a sitting position, flicking his wand so Lily's trunk joined the rest of theirs.

"So, now that your trunk is here, why don't you join us?" He asked, smiling as he wiped a trickle of blood that was falling from his lip.

Lily looked disgusted. "Oh yes, absolutely, I would _love _to sit with two boys who jinxed my trunk, one who snogs every girl he meets, and a _prefect _who doesn't have enough guts to stand up to his friends. Absolutely." Sarcasm dripped viciously from every word as the red head grabbed her trunk and yanked it out of the cavernous opening that once was a door.

When she was gone, Remus chuckled. "I hate to say I told you so, James. Oh, we should clean this before the trolley lady comes… She hates mess… _Reparo… Scourgify_."

Sirius smiled at the young boy as he stowed his wand back in his robes. "You are finally unaffected by what Lily says? Good for you, mate! We like the way… what were her words? '_You don't have enough guts to stand up to your friends'_" Sirius concluded, his voice hitting the high notes. Remus and Peter chuckled, but James was too busy sulking in the corner, muttering.

"She thinks she's _so _much better than us because she's _so _smart and _so _funny and _so _witty. She wouldn't know fun if it jumped up her –"

Sirius interrupted. "Actually, mate, I think she thought that knocking you over with a trunk was quite fun, and really, who wouldn't?" James growled and retreated further into his corner as Peter happily took over the conversation, telling the others in excruciating detail what he had done over the summer.

When the rat faced boy had finally stopped, there was silence, only the chugging of the wheels interrupting the quiet, and then Sirius asked, quite seriously, "Do you guys think I snog every girl I meet?"

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It was nearly midnight when the four reached their dormitory.

"Home at last!" Remus murmured, lying languidly on his four-poster bed, stomach full of dinner feast. Peter was bouncing happily on his bed, the last of the four able to do that now that they had gone through their growth spurts. They had tried to magically raise the ceiling but had no luck.

Sirius absently watched as he made his books circle above his head like vultures. "So nice, to be able to use magic again… Honestly, I cannot count on all my fingers and all my toes how many times I wanted to set young Regulus's hair on fire or dear Mother's eyeballs into acid, or _Kreacher_…" His voice drifted off into silence, but a small smile played across Sirius's lips as he pondered the different ways to do away with the house elf.

After a while, the boys changed into their pajamas and climbed into bed, except for James, who was still sulking from the incident on the train, and in sudden bursts of fury, would periodically set his and Sirius' beds on fire. He finally came to his senses, though, when he suddenly forgot how to put it out causing an inferno that turned Sirius's bed into ashes before Remus realized what was going on and put it out.

"What am I supposed to do without a bed?" Sirius growled angrily throwing hexes at James, who was grinning sheepishly, trying to apologize, but ending up not avoiding one of the spells fast enough and growing a large elephant trunk.

Remus shook his head and put James's nose right. "Don't you know a spell or something, Sirius? You act like you are so good at Transfiguration." Sirius glared at him.

"What are you trying to say, wolf boy? You know, for that cheek, I'll just sleep in your bed!" He leapt into Remus's bed and shoved him over, yanking the pillow from under his head and tugging the blankets around him. Peter chuckled and James raised his eyebrows. Remus blinked blankly but Summoned a pillow from Merlin knows where and pulled the covers back. It was good these beds were so big.

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It was the sunlight that woke him up eventually. It poured through the window, paler than the afternoon when he first got his book (which he should look at more closely – its advice might not all be ridiculous). Remus fluttered his eyes open half-way, peering through his pale eyelashes at the room, suddenly unaware of anything that was going on. He saw a burnt pile of wood across from him, and beyond that, the back of James's sleeping head. He snuggled further into whatever warm thing was against his back, and then with a sudden shocking blast, he realized it was Sirius.

Ever so carefully, Remus turned in Sirius's arms, which were wrapped tight around him. His best friends face was just inches from his own, his even breath hitting the tip of Remus's nose, bangs splayed across his face. It was a weird situation to be in, but Remus didn't seem to notice at first. He was quite content with looking at Sirius's face, admiring the sun in his long eyelashes, and the way his mouth was slightly open and the bottom of his teeth visible.

It took one of Peter's extra-loud snores to break the young werewolf from his stupor. As quickly and carefully as he could, he leapt from Sirius's arms, sidling over to the bathroom, and locking the door with a loud click. He fell to the cool marble floor, his head resting against the back of the mahogany door. He sat there in silence, afraid to move, afraid to talk, afraid to think, until he heard someone stirring. It must be time to get up, he thought furtively, and slowly slid into the shower.

After his shower, just as Remus was wrapping a towel around his waist and reaching for his toothbrush, he heard Sirius banging on the door.

"Remus? Are you in there? Hurry up I need to wash my hair before I get split ends. Honestly. How do you expect me to survive with _split ends_?" He called out, plainly hurling his body against the door. Remus laughed, and finished brushing his teeth; leaning against the counter and watching the door shake in its frame.

"That's it, I'm coming in. _Alohimira._ No wait that's not it. Oh why don't I pay attention in Charms? Oh I remember… _Alohomora!_" The door burst open and the dark-haired boy fell to the floor, smiling brightly up at his friend for a brief second before realizing that he was half naked. Sirius opened his mouth in slight shock, watching the way the water dripped down off the tips of Remus's hair, dripping down his face, his neck, his chest…

"Sirius?" Remus watched him lie there like a dead dog. Immediately the other boy leapt up, and hurried young Lupin out the door.

"Go on now, wolf boy, I need to condition my hair. It doesn't get this shiny from dirt, if you know what I mean, and I think you do." He said hurriedly, closing the door behind him and sighing against the cool wood.

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First lesson of the year was History of Magic. Professor Binns burst bubbles and rained on parades without a hint of remorse. Nothing, _nothing_, kills high hopes for a school year than a boring first lesson.

Even one Mr. Remus Lupin was bored. He had taken meticulous notes for the first half-hour of the class, but his words slowly got sloppier and bigger and eventually became a dark line running horizontally across the page.

Now the boy was staring at Lily's hair. She was sitting in front of him, absently doodling what looked like a flower garden below her stab at taking notes. The sunlight rushed through the waves so it looked like fire, contained in the braid that was hanging in front of her shoulder.

Fire. Remus recalled the memory of James setting fire to Sirius's bed with overwhelming glee, but he wasn't sure why. Then he remembered Sirius, setting fire to chocolate frogs. Now for some reason the chocolate frogs were dancing in their little fires and Sirius was coming closer, closer…

Remus wasn't sure at which point during this dream / hallucination he fell asleep. All he knew was that all of a sudden there was a sharp pain in his elbow and his ribs and his skull and he found himself on the floor of the History of Magic classroom. Professor Binns hadn't even paused when he went crashing to the ground.

Remus lay there in shock for a moment, and then suddenly found himself being hoisted up, with strong arms around him, pulling him up… Sirius.

The tawny haired boy was so surprised that he leapt up and away from his friend, causing the other to fall down. Professor Binns voice droned on in the distance.

"Sorry." Remus mumbled as he grabbed Sirius's hand and pulled him to his feet. The boy looked at him with an odd expression on his face, and quickly returned to his seat. For a second Remus swore he saw something doodled across Sirius's paper, something looking strangely like a wolf, but then the bell rang shrilly, and Sirius stuffed the paper in his bag, heading out to Potions without a word.

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Remus collapsed in front of the bubbling cauldron, watching as Slughorn leapt about, his bald head shining in the dim light. On the board, very intricate instructions read out, and at the very top, in cramped letters, it read: Amortentia.

Around him his peers seemed to be reading it as well. The girls were giggling and the guys were giving each other sly looks. Someone elbowed him in the side.

"You could use some of that, huh, Moony?" James hissed with a chuckle. The teen's eyes flickered over James's face, wondering what he knew, and then all of a sudden his eyes locked with Sirius's, who was sitting on the right of James. Remus looked away with a slight flush.

"Amortentia! The potion of obsessive love! I know it's a bit difficult looking, but its NEWT stuff, so you better be prepared. On my desk there is a cauldron of it, of what it should look like when it's done. And I'd like to let you know, I've put a charm on all of these cauldrons so you can't steal any. So don't try, I'll know who you are." He cast a stern look at two giggling girls sharing a table with Lily.

Remus smiled humorlessly and got up mechanically to go get ingredients. As he passed the cauldron, he suddenly smelled something absolutely alluring. It smelled like blueberry pie and the flowers of a tree near to the Whomping Willow, and something else he knew he had smelled before but couldn't quite place. And then he realized that it was Sirius's conditioner.

"Remus? Are you going to get the ingredients or not?" Sirius's voice rang out close behind him. The hazel-eyed teenager could feel his friend's breath on the back of his neck. Remus turned so quickly than he nearly knocked over the Amortentia, which was only saved by quick thinking by James, who was coming up behind them.

"Are you okay, mate? You keep jumping around like a frog at a hopping contest." Sirius said; the ridiculousness of the sentence washed by the seriousness of his tone. Remus merely shrugged, gathering porcupine needles and Kneazle tails and Murgtrop Ivy. Feeling Sirius's eyes on his back, he quickly returned to his seat, slowly slicing the Kneazle tails and letting them fall into the cauldron from three feet above it at a pace of two per minute, so it would turn the proffered maroon color.

Sirius was still watching him, he could feel it. He busied himself with shredding the Murgtrop Ivy into three inch strips.

Slughorn passed by their table, smiling broadly at Remus's work, and looking like he was going to gag at the garish purple substance bubbling in Sirius's cauldron.

"Did you forget to drop the Kneazle tails at three feet exactly, Mr. Black?" He asked, holding his nose and waving his wand so the contents disappeared. "Start over, it's alright, tricky little potion. Just remember, _three feet_."

Sirius scowled. "Sorry Professor," he muttered, but Slughorn was too busy mooning over Lily's concoction, which was already the blood red color expected in Step Four.

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to his lupine friend. "Hey, can I borrow some Kneazle tails?" He asked brightly, eyeing the huge pile that Remus hadn't used. The werewolf nodded, trying to push the whole pile over to the other side of the table, but instead they fell everywhere. Both sighed, but James didn't seem to notice, he was rejoicing from getting the right shade of red.

Remus bent down, slowly gathering the tails, and Sirius joined him. "Here, let me take those from you…" He reached for the tails, his fingers grazing the other Marauders body lightly as he snatched them away, standing up to replace them on the table, so he didn't see the extremely bright shade that his friend turned, about the same one as James's potion.

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For once, Sirius was late to lunch. Remus was squeezed in with James on his left and Peter on his right. He slowly ate, not responding to any question or comment, blankly lost in his thoughts of a certain Animagus.

Finally Sirius arrived, and planted himself right next to Lupin, his body pressed against his friends. "Pass the chicken?" He asked, pointing to it with his head. The werewolf quickly obliged, trying to move slightly away from his friend in the process- touching him was making his heart leap in a way that he didn't want to think about.

"Oh thank you, my little pal. I am starved from being lectured by McGonagall about how to transfigure wood into beds and why _not _to start fires. She didn't believe me when I said James did it." Sirius rambled as he hastily grabbed the plate from Remus's hands, their fingers grazing. Remus felt his heart leap again, and quickly excused himself to go to the bathroom. He couldn't stand being near Sirius anymore. So instead of going to the bathroom, he headed to the dormitory, and fell on his bed. This couldn't be possible. But now that he thought about it, he was pretty sure that Sirius was in his dream last night, and in more than a platonic way.

"No. No. No. No." Remus yelled throwing his pillow in the air and making it throw itself against the wall with his wand, which was outstretched angrily, waving about with no true purpose or meaning. Eventually the pillow grew so worn that it burst apart and drenched the floor beneath it in feathers. Remus sighed, and Conjured up a pillow. They had just been learning conjuring things, and the pillow was pretty pathetic looking and hard enough that Remus wondered if he had really Conjured a brick.

With a smile he sent the hard pillow over to Peter's bed and took that pillow, smiling sneakily. Pillow-stealing wasn't a sign of true friendship, but he doubted his friend would even notice. Peter fell asleep as soon as he lay down.

Lazily, Remus remembered the cheap tome and tugged the giant werewolf book out of his trunk and flipped through it, ignoring where the red marker was wedged. He definitely didn't want to read that page. Definitely not.

The passages seemed to be mostly spells and potions to help, and what looked like a very intricate game involving four werewolves, a Bludger, and a Whomping Willow. He smiled grimly and wondered if anyone played that game. Where would he find three other werewolves willing to sneak into Hogwarts to play a game that looked unbelievably dangerous?

The sound of footsteps walking up the stairs made Remus leap up and off his bed, scurrying under it. He didn't want to face anyone right now, especially Sirius. His hearing was good enough to make out the conversation even as they whispered on the stairway.

"He's acting funny. Always jumping around. Freaks me out." It was James's voice that spoke now.

"Well, it's not like he'll tell us what's going on. He's a crazy, crazy kid." Now it was Sirius. Remus felt his face growing hot.

"You know what I'll bet it is?" This was James again, his voice sliding into the tone he used when discovering something cool or planning a particularly mischievous stunt.

"What?" Sirius sounded exasperated – he too knew this voice very well.

"I'll bet our pal Moony is in looove with some girl. He was day-dreaming all through History of Magic, which is impossible for him. He can't _not _pay attention." James replied, and Remus could tell he was grinning.

Sirius did not reply for a long time. When he did, his voice had a twinge of panic in it. "Really? You think? Who? Who do you think he's in love with?"

James laughed. "The way he's been jumpy, it could be any one. Ha, even _you_, my dear friend."

The door burst open as he said this, and they lazily went to their beds. Well, James went to his bed, Sirius stood before the disgusting pile of ashes, muttered something under his breath, waved his wand about, and a squishy pink bed with flowers and a lacy canopy appeared.

"Well. That's nice. Really. Thank you, McGonagall." He growled, gingerly prodding one of the flowers, which made it start dancing. James burst out in laughter.

"You know, Black," he struggled to say between fits of giggles, "They say when you Transfigure something; the design of it reflects your personality."

Sirius growled again, waving his wand about more, but that only made the dancing flowers start giggling. Eventually he just set it on fire, and refused to put it out until it was just a pile of ashes.

"You know, I think I like this better." Sirius said with a small smile, brushing ashes off his robes. "I'll just sit on lovesick Moony's bed."

Remus felt the bed sink slightly under his lithe friend's weight, but he was too afraid to move or say something.

"What's that book?" He heard James ask languidly. He heard Sirius gently turning the pages.

"A book on werewolves. Pretty old. Smells disgusting." Sirius replied, sounding distracted. Remus swore silently, remembering where the marker had been.

James now sounded interested. "Ohh, what did Remus mark the place at? Dancing? Scandal? Lude games with Puffeskins?" Remus rolled his eyes, as he was sure Sirius did too.

"Nothing, must have been random. It's just… Wow… I mean, nothing." He heard James coming over, and Sirius slamming the book shut.

"Sirius! Show me!" James whined, but Sirius simply stood up.

"Let's go. We should try and find out from that seventh year how to make Dungbombs chase people and explode whenever they start running." He said quickly, and Remus heard them leave.

Massaging his banged ribs, Remus stood up, and threw the old book across the room, but it didn't go very far. It was like throwing a feather; it wafted down to the ground. Remus cursed stupid bewitchments and began to try other ways to destroy the book. It resisted fire, drenching, exploding, imploding, being torn apart, and being turn into a turtle. It did, however, grow an elephant nose, like James had the previous day, but it was absolutely useless, so Remus removed it.

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It was past midnight. Way past curfew. Remus was supposed to be in bed. But for once he disregarded the rules. He wandered around lazily, and found an empty class room in which to ponder the mess of his life.

Muttering a few spells, soon the room was full of little silver birds that he had conjured. He made them do loops and twists and back flips, the flashes of metallic color dismembering his mind from the rest of his body, so he didn't have to think. Waving his wand, he made them swell up into birdie balloons, bouncing around off each other and the walls. One by one they exploded in a mess of silver feathers. The other Marauders probably thought that was funny, but Remus barely noticed, waving his wand again and Transfiguring a desk into a guinea pig that scurried away and was gone within moments.

Soon, after there was no more furniture to transfigure into raccoons or peacocks or small dogs, and the ground wasn't visible anymore from the silver feathers from exploding birds, Remus left, peering out the doorway, and then wandering out, a ginger cat with strange eye markings scampering after him. He ignored it, making his way down the hallway, wondering why he wasn't running into anyone. And the cat was still following him.

Halfway back to Gryffindor tower, Remus sat down in the middle of the hallway. If he went back to the dormitory, he would have to see Sirius, and he wasn't sure that would be good. He lay down, staring at the ceiling, creating more silver birds, and making them all grow elephant trunks, and then merrily burst into flame.

In the pounding silence, Remus suddenly heard footsteps clanging loudly on the stone floor. He leapt up, vanquished the trunk-ed, blazing birdies with a swing of his wand, and dove into a nearby class room.

The person was getting closer. Remus felt the cat bristle next to him. Then the door burst open, to reveal Remus's worst nightmare – Sirius.

The boy approached him, and Remus could feel his face growing hot, and was amazed he actually wasn't on fire by the time Sirius had reached him. Then, Remus watched in shock as Sirius dragged him into a chair, and took the one next to him.

"Remus… I read, what was in the book, and then I, well, I _know_. And I'm not going to let you turn into a werewolf indefinitely because of me." His voice was husky and quiet, and Moony could feel his hot breath on his neck. Remus froze. He felt Sirius's arms around him, pulling him closer, to put his lips on the others.

Remus responded whole-heartedly to Sirius's advanced. He let his best friend scoop him into his lap, let his tongue explore his mouth, let his shirt fall off…

It was a while before Remus realized what was going on. When he felt Sirius's hands on the bare skin of his back, he resurfaced, and promptly pulled away. Sirius looked confused.

"Sirius, you shouldn't do this. I mean, I would love to do _this _but it's not right for you. You shouldn't get stuck with a loser like me just for… well a loser like me. So. So. So, I'm going to go to bed. Good night." Remus snatched his shirt from the ground and pulled it over his head, leaving a very hurt boy behind him.

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In Transfiguration the next day, Professor McGonagall was acting rather peculiarly. When Remus first walked in the door, she burst into tears and patted him on the back. The whole class stared, including Sirius, who was sitting a few seats away.

Between sniffs, the Transfiguration teacher managed to get out her instructions. "Today we will be working on turning these little heart pin cushions into tiny little wolf stuffed animals in pairs, which I will choose. Black, Lupin, over here…" She smiled kindly at them, and handed them a small wolf stuffed animal. Remus stared at her.

"Professor, aren't we supposed to end up with a wolf?" He asked curiously. She looked down in mock surprise at what she had handed to him. "Oh whoops. I guess you and Sirius can just _talk_. You know…" Remus felt his face burn, wondering how much his teacher knew.

Sirius sat down next to him, ignoring him completely. Remus watched him for a moment. "Sirius? Are you ever going to stop being mad at me? Because one of us had to do the right thing."

Sirius growled and jerked his head to face his friend. "_I _was doing the right thing. You were just… Oh I see. You're _ashamed _of me! Aren't you? _Aren't you?_" Lupin simply looked bemused.

"Why would I be ashamed of you?"

"I don't know! I'm not the one doing the ashaming!"

"That's not a word."

"I DON'T CARE! I'll I care about is _you_. But, apparently you're too ashamed of me to feel the same way, so screw that." Sirius said quietly, looking down at the little stuffed thing in his hands.

"Okay. I'm going to prove to you I'm not ashamed… HEY EVERYBODY! Yeah, look. Stop Transfiguring for a second, I need to show you something!" Remus had leapt to his feet, and dragged Sirius up with him. Everyone watched in different levels of shock as Remus leaned forward and pressed his lips against the most sought after sixth year in the school.

The silence was deafening as Remus pulled away, and sat back down. "Thank you for your time." He said pleasantly as he realized that people were still watching him. Sirius remained standing, two fingers resting his lips.

Finally the bell rang. The werewolf slowly gathered his things and headed out the door, afraid to look at Sirius, who was still partially in shock.

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**A/N**: Yes, stopping there. Don't worry, I have the entire rest of the story planned out, so you can relax enough to review my head off. Reviewing is now twice the flavor and half the calories!


	2. Leopard Print Spandex

**A/N**: Had a sudden burst of inspiration! Enjoy, my little reviewers, and gracias for reviewing, Wolfstar, Miranda, Charlotte Lazarus, and Viosil Uab. Charlotte- Yes, I wouldn't mind if they were in my class either… ;) SO cute…

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By lunchtime, the fact that Remus Lupin had kissed Sirius Black was the hottest piece of gossip. It had spread like wildfire, half the school had known by an hour, and the rest were informed by noon. Except the tales seemed to get wilder and wilder. One seventh year was telling another that they were half-naked wearing leopard print spandex.

As Remus passed through the Great Hall, everyone turned to look at him. They shamelessly pointed and whispered, especially since he was walking right next to Sirius. They weren't talking though. They hadn't exchanged a word since Transfiguration. James, who was walking on the right of Remus, was trying to start up a conversation with appalling results.

"So, the Qudditch game against Slytherin is tonight! You guys are going to come watch me, right?" James asked, peering from one of his friends to another. He, too, wasn't saying a word about Transfiguration. It was slightly weird for him. Technically he didn't mind gay…ness… But his two best friends snogging in front of twenty kids and the Deputy Headmistress was a different situation entirely.

"Yeah…" Remus said reluctantly. He had been looking forward to locking himself in the library and pouring over his Charms notes until this entire day was washed from his memory.

"Sure, whatever you say." Sirius replied after a moment, totally lost in his own thoughts, nearly plowing over a first year in the process, who had stopped dead in his tracks when he saw him.

The three sat down at the long Gryffindor table silently. Remus gingerly took a sandwich and nibbled at it hopelessly as whispers churned around him like he was sitting in the ocean. He felt a million pairs of eyes boring into his skull, turning his ears red with embarrassment. Given the chance, he would have gone back and not kissed Sirius. They weren't talking anyways. It wouldn't have made much of a difference.

Unable to stand it anymore, Remus abandoned his attempt at eating and shouldered his back, gliding off without explanation. All he wanted to do was hide, hide from everyone's judgmental stares that slowly began to make him sick. His head ached and he felt like he was going to fall over from the sheer pressure of being in the Great Hall, so he scurried out as fast as he could, up the stairs, his feet clanging loudly on the steps, but there was no one around to hear.

Finally he made it to his room. He threw his bag away from himself and collapsed on his bed, burying his face into his pillow.

Remus lay there in complete silence and solitude. He didn't know how long it was. He wondered helplessly if he was going to be late for Herbology. It was directly after lunch- usually he just went straight to the greenhouses, not wanting to be late. Come to think of it, Remus had never been late in his life, let alone skipped class. Well, he could release himself from the terrifying hold of being academically perfect for one, afternoon, he supposed.

Finally he dragged himself into a sitting position, and got his bag. He unrolled a long piece of parchment, dipped his quill in ink, and began on the Charms essay that Flitwick had assigned.

By the time he had filled the foot long sheet, Herbology was over. Remus didn't have any more classes, which pretty much ruined his skiving-off-an-entire-afternoon-of-classes plan, but that was alright. He couldn't possibly stand missing another class, it was killing him already. He wondered dully if he had missed a very important class that would ruin his chances of passing the N.E.W.T. test. Hopefully James could fill him in. Peter was absolutely useless in Herbology- he wouldn't be much help, and Remus was deathly afraid of talking to Sirius.

Time ticked away. He heard voices talking in the Common Room, but he couldn't quite make them out. One of them sounded sort of like James. Yes, it was him, Remus decided. The voice was coming closer. He must be coming into the dormitory. But Remus made no attempt to move from where he lay listlessly on his bed. There wasn't enough energy in his body to fuel a flobberworm's motorcycle three inches.

James slowly entered the dormitory, staring strangely at Remus. "There you are! You weren't at the game, we missed you! We won, 340 to 100, thanks to me and Lynch… Honestly, it was like I was the only Chaser who could function properly. Have you been lying here since lunch? That was like… five hours ago. Its time for dinner, you silly mutt. And are you still not talking to Sirius? What was that all about in Transfiguration?" James said this all very quickly, so it flooded into Remus's brain before he could block it out.

"What happened in Herbology?" He asked hoarsely, ignoring his friends comments. James rolled his eyes.

"You can borrow my notes… Wow, Remus Lupin, prefect, skipping class. Anyways, they're in my bag, I'll give them to you later. Are you coming to dinner, then?" James asked as he replaced his Quidditch robes into his trunk.

Remus shook his head, staring intently at the ceiling. He heard James sigh and leave. And then there was blessed silence again. It only lasted a short time though. Someone burst into the room, the door slamming loudly against the wall. Remus didn't need to look to see who it was.

"Sirius." He said in the same hoarse tone he had used with James. He could feel the other student's confusion and anger, like poison in the air. This was not what Remus wanted to do, but it didn't look like he had a choice.

"Remus, what the _hell _is going on?" Sirius fell onto the bed, looking like he was about to beat up the young werewolf. Remus finally pulled himself up, resting his head on the mahogany headboard, his gaze sliding over his friend like he wasn't there.

"I don't know what you mean." He replied lethargically, feeling like he was about to collapse from the strain of even trying to think about what the hell was going on.

Sirius slid up next to him, grabbing his face roughly in his coarse hands. For a wild moment Remus thought that he was going to be kissed, but Sirius was holding him at a safe distance, his gray eyes boring into him.

Eventually Remus realized Sirius was waiting on him, and he spoke in the same limp tone. "It's too confusing, Sirius. You know, I like you, but you… You don't like me, so we can just forget about this whole thing. We can be trendsetters, because the rest of the school won't easily forget." He laughed bitterly, still not meeting his friends gaze.

Abruptly Sirius released his head, so it banged against the wooden frame of his bed. Remus didn't even flinch as he slid down so he was resting on the fluffy stolen pillow. He turned so he was on his side, watching Sirius ponder his own thoughts.

"You know what Remus? No." Sirius's voice was jubilantly defiant.

"No to _what_, you crazy dog?" Remus asked wearily.

"No to forgetting this. I won't. I won't forget this, because despite your best efforts, Mr. Lupin, I still like you." Again Remus felt his face being cradled in his friends grasp, and this time he was kissed, tenderly at first, and then slowly growing in passion.

Again Remus responded whole-heartedly. This time, he vowed, he wouldn't freak out. Or he could try.

He rolled so he was lying on top of Sirius, feeling his shirt being drawn off for the second time in less than twenty four hours. First fifteen years of his life, he got no action, and now, he had Hogwarts's pimp all over him.

Feeling brave, Remus peeled off Sirius's shirt, which was slightly sweaty from his run up to the dormitories from the Great Hall. He could feel Sirius's heart hammering, on the off-beat of his own as Sirius deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring his mouth. He felt Sirius's hands wander down his sides, to the button on his jeans.

"I _told _you, Pettigrew, Lily does not hate me for turning her friend's hair pink! I'll bet she thought it was funny… Oh. Oh!" James had wandered into the room, followed closely by the fourth Marauder, Peter.

Remus pulled himself away from Sirius so quickly he fell off the bed to the carpeted floor with a spine cracking bang. Sirius peered over the bed at him, apparently not distressed that there were two more people in the room. Remus was, however. He found his shirt and tugged it over to his head, his face a bright crimson.

"Oh, oh god. I'm going to go." He managed to stutter out, sprinting out of the room as fast as he could, once again leaving Sirius behin d.

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The next few days were torturous. Not only was the Great Hall still abuzz with rumors of a possible relationship between him and Sirius, but Remus couldn't even talk to his would-be boyfriend. Every chance he got Sirius was approaching him, trying to talk to him, but Remus would scuttle off in fear. Also, he had a sickening feeling that he wasn't doing too well academically, the only field he had truly excelled in. The only class that Remus didn't seem to be failing was Defense Against the Dark Arts, which he had fueled all his pent-up fury into.

Professor Slughorn sighed as he handed back Remus's potions essay, a spiky P written neatly in the corner. Remus let his head fall against the fragile wood of the table, the smell of parchment and ink shoved in his nose. It was the end of class, he could get out, use lunch and the free afterwards to pour himself into his studies, re-do his Transfiguration essay, practice the Aguamenti Charm, and read that book that Sprout had asked them to read. He might even be able to squeeze in his newest Potions assignment, one which looked easy to what Remus had done in the past.

As he gathered his things and began to head for the library, Remus had a strange feeling that he was forgetting something. And then he realized what it was- Sirius didn't try to talk to him. The werewolf looked around for his friend, a sickening feeling in his stomach, and saw him heading towards the Great Hall with Peter at his side. He watched Sirius turn, and meet his eyes with a cool rage. He murmured something to Peter, who stopped impatiently, and watched as the dog Animagus walked over to Remus, who was standing nervously, afraid to walk away like he would have done had this happened the day before.

"Lupin. I'd just thought I'd let you know that we are over. Friendship and anything more, doesn't exist anymore. You obviously don't care about _us_, so there won't be an _us._ Just thought you should know." Sirius's voice was blatantly loathing. The sickening feeling in Remus's stomach increased as he realized what he had done, staring blankly at Sirius's back as it retreated, returning to Peter's side.

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Remus finally left the library, a sense of accomplishment swelling his bruised ego. He had pushed Sirius out of his mind enough to finish the Transfiguration and Potions essays, perfect the Water Conjuring Charm, and read the entire book on Herbology. Madam Pince smiled at him as he left over her vulture-like nose. Remus was one of the only students she liked- he was quiet and didn't hurt the books.

The Fat Lady opened with a broad smile at the password ("Basket Case") and Remus clambered in, looking around happily for James or Peter when suddenly he saw something punctured his elated mood like someone had stepped on it.

Sirius was sitting in a huge armchair, his mouth turned into a wide grin. He wasn't alone. Perched on his lap was a girl. Not just a girl. The prettiest girl in Gryffindor- a seventh year named Loura Necavit, her perfect blond curls currently being playfully tugged on by Remus's favorite Animagus.

The werewolf felt his breathing grow shallow as Loura kissed Sirius flirtatiously on the nose, only to find his tongue down her throat in a matter of moments. Remus watched as the world around him began to spin crazily, colors becoming brighter, noises becoming louder.

Some was holding his arm and steering him into a chair, taking his bag and putting it down somewhere. Remus could no longer see, but he had a feeling it was James. Understanding James would know how he felt, how he thought he was going to faint. Just last week he had walked into the very same Common Room to see Lily snogging a handsome seventh year.

"Remus? Remus, drink some water. Its good I did my Charms homework, give me your wand, mine is upstairs with my homework. _Aguamenti_." Remus felt James push the cool liquid against his lips. The water seemed to ground him, and all of a sudden the colors relaxed and the world stopped spinning and noises returned to their correct volume.

"Thanks," Remus said, taking his wand back from James. Mindlessly he headed for the stairs to the dormitory, James on his tail, probably to make sure he didn't fall over, when he heard Sirius's voice ring out cruelly in the huge room.

"Wow, Lupin, going to bed at this hour? No _wonder _you only have two friends!"

James glowered at Sirius and shoved Remus up the remaining few stairs, as the werewolf had suddenly found that his legs didn't work. Eventually his friend managed to get him into his room, where he fell onto his bed without complaint, falling asleep immediately into a restless sleep.

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**A/N: **Oooer, Mean!Sirius. I promise I'll make him good again by at LEAST the chapter after next. :) I'm just very cruel. Please forgive me. And review, because it will save you fifteen percent or more on your car insurance. Also, I will love you :) Lily/James action definately in the next chapter. Yay!


	3. Ducktaping Your Mind

**A/N**: I'll be in New York City for a few days, so obviously I won't be able to put anything up… But I'll be able to plan a little bit of what's to come… So this chapter is focused on JPLE and a little SBRL… Mean!Sirius is still at large, though. ;) Don't worry, I'm not so cruel I'll prevent the fluff for long… :P Promise lots of fluff next chapter. Or I'll try. I just love torturing them, even though it tortures _me _when I read other SBRL stories when they're always fighting or something… xD

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After James had overseen Remus going to sleep (to make sure he wasn't about to jump out the window (**A/N: but if you want one where he does, check out Seeing by Captain Oz D**)), he had returned to the Common Room. He had no idea what was going on between Sirius and Remus, but he knew that Sirius was being an ass. That part was pretty clear to him.

James sighed as he realized that Sirius was still making out with the blonde girl as if nothing had happened. He looked around for a friendly face, but Peter was nowhere to be seen. However, sitting in the corner with a huge book was Lily. He made his way over to her, a hopeful smile plastered on his face.

"Hello, Lily," he said politely, amused at the shock on her face as he called her by her face name. She blinked for a few seconds like a fish on land, and then finally managed to reply.

"Hello… James." She said this hesitantly, as if it was some sort of trap he was baiting her into. She pulled the book she was reading defensively against her, so James could read the title. _Hogwarts, A History. _Of course. What else?

"Would you mind if I joined you?" He asked, ready to leap back if she decided to hit him with her heavy book. He had already cracked all of his ribs from Quidditch; he didn't want to experience that again. There was another few moments where Lily looked simply confused, and then shrugged indifferently with one shoulder, looking back to her book.

A wide smile split his face as James sat down, careful not to sit too close to her, but not so far away it looked like he was avoiding her. They sat for a few minutes in silence, the redhead buried in her book while James surveyed the scene. Most people had drifted off to bed; it was quite late, but there were a few stragglers. Three second years delightedly exchanged Chocolate Frog cards in a corner. A lone seventh year sat buried in homework, looking extremely stressed. Two first years were curled up in the same gargantuan arm chair, obviously asleep, their heads leaning against each other.

And then, of course, there was Sirius. He was still going strong with the seventh year. James scowled darkly at them, and couldn't help but complain about them at Lily.

"Honestly, who does he think he is, snogging her in the middle of the Common Room, where anyone could see him, especially _Remus_? It's like he doesn't even care. You know, he's my best friend but sometimes he just makes me want to hit him…" James muttered out of the side of his mouth. Lily looked amused, meeting his eyes for a moment then looking back to her book, a slight tinge of pink in her cheeks which James noticed giddily.

"So Sirius liked Remus, and Remus liked Sirius, but Remus was avoiding Sirius because he was afraid that it was a joke or that Sirius would hurt him but Sirius couldn't understand that and both were too stubborn to talk about it, and then Sirius got angry and wanted to make Remus angry or jealous or both?" She asked idly, as if it was quite plainly obvious. James wasn't sure even he had figured that all out.

"Wha…? Um… er… I guess. How did you catch all of that? I'm still trying to work it all out and I'm their best friend!" James asked, his eyebrows receding into his fringe. Lily looked at him with amusement, the corners of her lips curling up ever so slightly.

"Well, _James_," The way she accentuated his name made his stomach do a back flip, "Some how I paid attention. I mean, haven't you noticed that Remus doesn't really trust people easily, how scared he is of being in a dependent relationship? You _must _have at least realized he's been avoiding Sirius this whole time? And Sirius _hates _to be ignored, that's why he does all those juvenile pranks with you, for attention. So obviously, Sirius would get frustrated and want to make Remus pay for ignoring him, and start snogging some _whore_ from the seventh year." She spoke in a tone that she used when answering a question for a teacher.

James smiled widely at her. "You are bloody brilliant, Lily." Again she blushed, and looked back to her book, but James continued to look at her. After a few minutes of this, Lily finally met his gaze again, one eyebrow quirked.

"You're staring at me." She said plainly. It was James's turn to flush, and he looked away quickly, only to look back a moment later.

"Well, you are very nice to look at Lily," he said, batting his eyelashes comically. Lily snorted with laughter and pushed his face away.

"You are quite literally insane, James." She said with a laugh as he snapped at her hand, which she quickly withdrew. His eyes sparkled with mischief, which were suddenly so close that she could count ever one of his dark eyelashes. She wondered when he had become this close.

"James…" Lily murmured in half-protest, but she couldn't say anything else soon, because she found her lips pressed gently against his, while his hands tenderly cupped her face. It was only a moment though, because he pulled away slowly, leaving Lily's heart aching for more, while her mind, which had been duck-taped and thrown into a closet, screamed that this was Potter, the bane of her existence, the immature little fool who always did immature things…

Lily looked at James through starry-eyes, have dazed by the kiss. It wasn't her first; of course, she had had boyfriends before she was _sixteen, _but it was most certainly the nicest, though it had only lasted a second.

"James." She said again, feeling her confidence swell up in her. The boy in question looked at her curiously, surprised she hadn't slapped him yet, even more surprised as she drew herself closer to him, kissing him again, wrapping her arms around his neck.

There was a moment where Lily thought that James wasn't going to respond, but then he did, kissing back whole-heartedly, his hands on her waist, playing with the belt-loop on her jeans. A passing thought remarked dryly that he was just as bad as Sirius, but it was banished quickly.

Lily felt James open his mouth and lick her bottom lip, asking for permission which she gave him immediately. His tongue explored the inside of her mouth carefully, so much more suavely then some other guys she had snogged, most of whom had carelessly stuck their tongues down her throat.

Time seemed to pass in an instant. Soon Lily found herself straddling James Potter, once the boy she was proud of disliking, unable to break the kiss, it was too good, too sweet, too perfect.

A sudden coughing made James pull away reluctantly and look up to see Sirius standing over them, looking triumphant.

"What, Sirius?" James asked exasperatingly. Why did Sirius always seem to come along and ruin the mood?

"First off, congratulations! Was Remus really upset? Like, what would you rate his upset-osity on a scale from one to ten?" Sirius asked avidly, glancing up at the dormitory as he spoke. James sighed audibly as Lily slid off his lap and picked up her book again, her face nearly as red as her hair.

"Twenty five. Now can you stop torturing him? Lily here says that he's just afraid that it's a prank or that you'll hurt him. Honestly, you can be so dense sometimes. Now, go to sleep, wake up tomorrow and talk to Remus. Now leave so I can please continue with my _very_ interesting… conversation… with Lily." James snapped. Sirius recoiled slightly like James had burned him, but the winked and snuck up the dormitory stairs, leaving behind the blonde who was looking much put-out.

James looked at Lily sideways. "Lily, I, uh. I'm not so good about talking about like, feelings and stuff, but I like you, and from what has just happened, I think you may like me. And you know, you can't keep resisting my charms forever, so you might as well go with me to Hogsmede this weekend." His voice became more confident towards the end of his little speech, leaving Lily with a genuine smile on her face.

"Well… Alright then. Okay. Now, I have to go to bed. Don't stay up too late, we have early double Potions in the morning." She slid off, leaving James with a bemused smile. Before their first date and she was already bossing him around. Well. Of course. What else?


	4. Several Elephant Trunks

**A/N**: Just got back from NYC… bought a bunch of stuff from street vendors… I love street vendors! So friendly! D and I thought this up on the way home… time for yum-ness… D Oh and I sort of stole a scene of this from an episode of the O.C… just the very basic concept though. Sorry Josh Schwartz!

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But Sirius didn't talk to Remus in the morning. Or the next, or the next, or the next, or the next. They didn't talk about their situation for an entire month- they just participated in forced small talk.

A full moon came and past. Sirius was there, of course, but wasn't in his usually happy mood. Remus had stayed in his wolf form an extra hour after the moon was gone as his book had predicted, but he hardly noticed, he was too busy sulking.

Things were boiling under the surface. Remus felt he was going to crack under the pressure of everything- the extra-hard lessons, his non-fight with Sirius, the full moon approaching _again_, and James being too busy sneaking off with Lily to talk to him. The slightest thing would set him off- which was exactly what happened.

Remus had been innocently walking from Potions, trying to figure out where he had put his Charms book, when Sirius walked by, his arms wrapped around Miss Necavit who was his current girlfriend. Sirius didn't even acknowledge his presence, but that was to be expected. He did knock into Remus, though, pushing him to the ground.

A sort of animalistic fury came over the werewolf. He dropped his back on the floor and rammed into his fellow Marauder with all his might, sending him flying up the stairs. Sirius turned to face him, his nose bleeding slightly, a cold glint in his eyes as he pounced.

As they wrestled on the floor, Sirius seemed to be winning to the outside viewer, but really it was Remus who had the upper hand, because it was Remus who had a calm mind naturally, and who remembered that he was a wizard.

Whipping out his wand, he called out the first spell that came to mind, an Advanced Transfiguration hex that they had used on Snape. "FELINIFY!"

Sirius stepped back, clutching his head, eyes wide in fear of what was going to happen. But he couldn't stop his hair from turning bright orange and scrunching together to form a small, angry cat that was attached quite firmly to his now-bald head.

The crowd that had gathered began to roar with laughter, but not for long, because two could play at this game. Sirius also pulled out his wand, quickly pointing it at Remus, sending a red jet of flames from it. Remus tried to scramble away, but the flames grazed his back, making a huge circle of flames across it. He felt it char his flesh, but didn't bother with it- he knew it was Engulfing Fire, only Sirius or someone much more skilled at magic than either of them could put it out.

Trying not to scream in pain, Remus started spewing out a long line of hexes, most of which Sirius dodged, but the last of which, a long golden whip, managed to wrap itself around his legs. The crunching of Sirius's bones was deafening, but Sirius had already shot another spell.

The fight looked like it could have gone on for much longer if it weren't for a new voice, furious and female.

"PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!" Lily roared, and immediately they went as rigid as boards. With another swing of her wand, they were levitating, floating limply next to their stuff, which she had also charmed.

The crowd dissolved as Lily led them off, lecturing them darkly about how lucky they were that it was she who had caught them and not a teacher. She began to remove most of the magical effects bestowed upon them, but it was a lot of work. Not only were Sirius's legs broken and the cat still scratching up his bald head, but his ears were steaming and flashing different colors, several elephant trunks were growing out of his arms, and his upper eyelashes were braided with his bottom ones. Remus was worse off though- his back was still on fire (which Lily easily put out, being the top of the year), one of his hands was swollen to the size of a basketball and his nose was growing longer and longer until it grazed the floor. The worst of it was that his shoes were biting madly at his legs, which were bleeding quite heavily.

Lily pushed the door to the infirmary open, and levitated Sirius and Remus into it. Though they were quite annoyed by her at this point, she redeemed herself slightly in their eyes as she wove a carefully put together story about her missing cat, the Whomping Willow, and a few misplaced inferno charms. Madam Pomfrey looked like she didn't quite believe it, but sent Lily off to Charms and began to work on the two boys injuries.

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Sirius didn't know how he got himself in these situations. Madam Pomfrey had them fixed up by dinner, during which the two were handed a large stack of work that they had missed from that day. They had grudgingly returned to their Common Room and begun on it, working until the early hours of the morning. Everyone else was long gone by the time Sirius realized he had a problem.

Due to stress, he had just snapped all the quills he had with him. To go up to the dormitory and shuffle through his trunk for another one would be to wake up light-sleeping James, who would yell at him. There was no one else around to borrow it from, and the room was quite barren of forgotten items, except for two small coats in the corner.

With a loud sigh, Sirius grudgingly enlisted Remus's help.

"Lupin? Can I borrow a quill?" he asked wearily, peering across the table at the werewolf. Remus looked up, one eyebrow slightly quirked, and then slowly reached into his bag for a quill, which he slid across the table, muttering something.

"What was that?" Sirius asked angrily as he deftly caught the quill. Remus's eyes bored into his, defiance glinting in their tawny depths.

"I said, 'You're welcome, Baldy.'" He said cruelly, his gaze flickering up to Sirius's hair, which was quite a bit shorter than it had been before- despite a large amount of Hair Growth Potion that he had begged the nurse for.

Sirius growled. "You are an ass, Lupin."

Said boy laughed bitterly. "You would know, Black."

Sirius rose from his chair and reached for his wand. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I wouldn't expect you to understand, you are quite idiotic. What I mean is, if anyone is an ass, it's you. Do you understand that, Black?" Remus spat, also standing and snatching his wand.

The tension in the air thickened almost visibly as Sirius's eyes narrowed nearly to slits. "How do you figure that, wolf boy?"

"Making out with that seventh year slut right in front of me, knocking me around, ignoring me?" Remus snarled, his wand half-raised.

Sirius stared at him like he had grown a second head. "I plead guilty to two of the three accounts, but it is _you _that was ignoring me, but don't worry, I know why."

"Oh really."

"Yes."

"This should be stunning."

"It's because you're afraid. You're afraid I would hurt you, even though you know I wouldn't. You're afraid of what people would think, even though it shouldn't matter. Oh, and you're probably afraid of the kissing bit, since you are so inexperienced." Sirius said smugly. Remus's eyes widened. He had expected Sirius to be right.

"I'm… I'm not afraid of that last one!" Remus replied feebly. Sirius barked with laughter.

"Prove it!" He said, grinning wickedly.

Remus knew that Sirius was baiting him. He knew he shouldn't fall for it, even as his feet drew him around to Sirius's side of the table, and as his hands grabbed his robes and pulled his friend down the few inches between them so that their lips met.

Sirius pulled him closer, pushing his tongue into his mouth roughly. Remus moaned slightly, digging his fingers through Sirius's newly shorn hair. Their animosity was forgotten as they drew closer.

All of a sudden, Remus found his back pushed against the table, Sirius practically lying on top of him, his tongue exploring his mouth, his hands drifting to the buttons on his shirt.

The sound of laughter broke the intense silence. Sirius peeled himself off Remus with a look of annoyance. There were two third years, holding on to the coats that had been left on the chairs. They quickly scurried away, but they obviously weren't keeping any secrets.

Sirius looked worriedly at Remus, wondering if he would take off again. But Remus simply looked amused.

"I'm not afraid anymore." He said softly, buttoning his shirt up again, and heading off to bed.

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This rumor had spread even faster than the Transfiguration one, or the one about the public fight. Everyone seemed giddy with the whole scandal of it. They whispered obviously in the hall. They pointed and called out who they were to their friends in the Great Hall. But strangely, Remus found he couldn't care less. He hadn't talked to Sirius much. He had, however, kissed him for long periods of time, so he assumed things were good.

That was more than James could say about his relationship with Lily. They, too, had been spending a lot of _private _time together, but she was acting very strangely with him whenever they were in public. It finally came to a head during breakfast, the day after Sirius and Remus's fight.

"Hey Lily, what time do you want to meet tomorrow for Hogsmede?" He asked idly as she talked to her friends. A tinge of pink colored her cheeks as she looked at him strangely.

"Why would I want to go to Hogsmede with you, Potter?" She asked harshly, and returned to her conversation with her friends as James looked blankly at the bacon sitting on his plate.

When Lily's friends had finally left, she turned to him with a small frown on her face. "I'm so sorry, James, but I've abused you for five years to my friends… I don't want anyone to know that we're dating…" She said quietly, refusing to look him in the eye. A look of shock spread across his face.

"You're ashamed of me!" He said accusingly, which just made Lily flush more.

"No, that's not it! I'm just…" Lily began nervously, which just spurned James on.

"Whatever it is, I think it's well time to cure you." James began clearing out the food from in front of him, drawing a few curious looks. He drew even more looks as he hoisted himself onto the table. He scanned the teacher's faces quickly. While most looked amused, McGonagall looked like she was about to scream. But the teachers weren't really his concern.

"Hello, everyone! Sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but I have something to say!" He announced in a loud voice. In the corner of his eye he saw Lily's friends pause at the exit, and Lily's face growing redder.

"Well, a month or so ago, me and Lily Evans here, we got together. I'll spare you the details, but we've been together for a while, but she still won't acknowledge me publicly. But I still think I might love her, and I'm pretty sure she likes me. So Lily, if you want me, you're going to have to get up here and take me, before I fall, because that would be really, really humiliating." James continued. He heard a few titters of laughter and conversation, but other than that there was dead silence.

For a few seconds, James thought Lily was going to ignore him. But then she shakily rose to her feet, and stepped up on the table next to him, her eyes nervously catching his.

"Now what?" She asked quietly, but her voice echoed through the silent hall.

"Kiss me, silly girl!" He said with a laugh. She smiled, her bottle green eyes sparkling and then closing as she pressed her lips against his.

The Great Hall seemed to erupt into applause. In the background, James could hear Professor McGonagall trying to calm everyone down, and then Dumbledore telling _her _to calm down. She did, eventually get her way, after a few minutes of James and Lily shamelessly snogging on the table. She nearly pushed them down and told them to take their relationships elsewhere.

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**A/N: **This is as far as I have planned, I think… Next chapter may come a little slower unless my muse kicks it up a notch.

Thank you my lovely reviewers: Nyx Vasquez, sesshomaruhasafluffytail, Tanya J Potter, Icy Sapphire15, checkmarks, Moony's puppy, Psycho Demon-Witch, SlashyKitty, QFan, LiTOSWTAZN, Charlotte Lazarus, actually omniscient, Wolfstar, Audrey G. Black, billy, Ryyne, elsie777, Viosil Uab and miranda!


	5. Badly Mixed Potions

**A/N**: I think things are getting too nice. Time to ruin it all. I love doing that, after all. Try not to hate me. I love you all :)

**Disclaimer**: Once again, I disclaim.

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Remus lay across his bed, idly flipping through the pages of the werewolf book, quite amused by its contents. He was currently reading a section on how to fall out of love. It was quite comical, really.

He heard someone enter the dormitory and lifted his head to see Sirius's mildly smiling face. Automatically Remus sat up and grabbed Sirius's arm, pulling him into a quick kiss.

"Alright, Mr. Black?" He asked huskily, trying to kiss him again, but Sirius pulled away slightly, sitting across from Remus on the bed. Remus looked at him strangely for a moment, and then leaned in, only to be gently stopped by Sirius.

"Sirius?" He asked curiously, but the boy in question didn't look angry or upset, just _mild_.

"Oh nothing, I just thought we could _talk_." Sirius said emphatically. Remus looked startled at this sudden turn of events- he hadn't had a real conversation with Sirius in a good while.

"Why, you don't want to kiss me?" He asked, half jokingly, half dead serious. Sirius smiled, and kissed him lightly.

"No, of course, but we always kiss. Let's talk!" He said, voice chipper, unaware of the confusion and dread that was seeping through Remus's blood.

"What do you want to talk about?" Remus asked suspiciously. A thousand ideas of what Sirius wanted to talk about were flashing through his head, one by one. None of them were good.

"I don't know." Sirius said, an unidentified emotion thick in his voice. They sat in silence, and then Remus leapt up.

"I just have remembered- I left my essay on vampires… in the library… I'll see you later, Sirius." He said quickly, grabbing his bag and disappearing down the stairs.

Sirius shook his head in amusement, and then leaned over to see what Remus had been reading about. The title was strangely dark, its words glaring and obvious. Sirius's eyes widened.

**How to Fall Out of Love**

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Remus walked into breakfast the next morning with whispers echoing through the Great Hall. He wondered idly what he had done this time as he sat down next to James, who was whispering with Peter. Both were flashing glances down to the Slytherin table, making the lycanthrope assume it had been some prank.

"What did you do this time?" Remus asked, not really interested, but knowing that he would learn about it anyways. He was still deep in his thoughts of the strange exchange with Sirius.

"Have you seen her?" James asked excitedly, careful not to let Lily hear. Remus arched one eyebrow and squinted at the Slytherin table. There was a girl there, one who looked oddly familiar, and yet Remus thought that he would remember a girl who was so pretty…

"Who is she?" Remus asked, taking a bite of bacon. James edged slightly away from Lily, bringing his head closer to Remus's ear.

"That is Sirius's _cousin_, Bellatrix. She went to Durmstrange last year as an exchange thing, and she comes back and _phwoar_! I mean, I know she's a Slytherin, and I have lovely Lily, but…" James shook his head and blinked rapidly. Remus stole another look at the girl.

She did look vaguely like an extremely feminine Sirius. She had a sheet of icy black hair, and cool gray eyes. She was gorgeous, Remus had to admit, but she didn't look like a very pleasant person. She was smiling wickedly and exchanging a few words with a girl next to her, and then she looked right into Remus's eyes. Quickly the werewolf looked away, but he could swear he still felt her eyes on him.

In a few minutes, Sirius banged down at the table next to Remus, looking strangely detached. James started to compliment him on his fox of a cousin, but was quickly silenced by the look on his face.

"Bellatrix is back? I'm sure she'll be spying on me for my parents within the week. God, I hate her…" Sirius murmured, but behind his words dripping with loathing, Remus could swear he sounded a little choked.

"Sirius? What's wrong?" Remus asked as everyone slowly rose and began filtering out of the Great Hall. Sirius caught his eye, the hard glint back in his eye. Lily seemed to notice, too, and she hung around. She looked like she was ready to stop another brawl.

"Oh, don't bother with me; I know you must be busy trying to fall out of love." He growled softly. It took Remus a few long moments of blinking and raking his mind to realize what Sirius was talking about.

"Oh, it's just that!" He said in relief. "I was just reading that for fun Sirius, relax…" He smiled at his fellow student, but it was not returned.

"I'm sure. Just for fun. Because you aren't know for trying to avoid love." Sirius said. His words were sharp and loathing. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Why would I want to fall out of love? You are crazy, Sirius-" he began, but quieted when he saw the look of fury in Sirius's eyes.

"Whatever you say, wolf." Sirius murmured, sliding away. Remus exchanged a look with Lily. She looked extremely confused, and yet relieved that she didn't have to levitate them into the Infirmary again.

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"Are you Remus Lupin?" A voice shattered Remus's concentration on his Potions essay. He looked up, slightly annoyed, but when he saw who it was he was more confused.

It was Bellatrix Black. She was looking at him curiously. Remus now noticed that she didn't really look like Sirius at all. Her eyes were heavy, and her eyes much darker than her cousins. Her hair was long and slick, pouring like dirty water over her shoulders. And she of course didn't have Sirius's strong features, hers were more delicate, like they had been made by a sculptor, out of creamy marble.

Remus realized it had been nearly a whole minute of him simply staring at her. She looked vaguely amused.

"Oh, yes, I am, sorry. And you're Bellatrix? Sirius's cousin?" He asked, putting down his quill carefully. She nodded and sat down across from him without asking for invitation. Maybe she was like Sirius, Remus chuckled inwardly. But he realized the more he thought about Sirius, the more his heart felt like it was going to twist itself out of his body.

"I don't mean to be nosy…" Bellatrix began, but Remus could tell that she was just adding that bit because they had just met. "But is it true that you and my cousin were something of an _item_?"

Remus could feel his face growing hot. Bellatrix smiled coolly, waiting for his answer.

"Oh, yes, I suppose." Remus said warily. Sirius hadn't said anything in relation to his family and their relationships, but Bellatrix seemed alright, even though Sirius had seemed unappreciative of her return. Perhaps he was a bit biased, Remus pondered.

"But, we've had a fight, and I'm not sure we're anything anymore." Remus didn't know when he had started talking, but saying those words seemed to life the heavy thing in his stomach slightly. Bellatrix looked slightly concerned.

"Well, Remus, if I may say, there are many better Blacks that you can associate yourself with." She said silkily as she rose. For a moment as she approached, Remus thought that she might strike him.

It was quite the opposite. Bellatrix raised her long fingered hand and lightly touched his cheek, her fingers running against his cheekbone. And then she leaned down and lightly kissed him on the cheek. Her lips are just as smooth as _his_, Remus thought suddenly.

He remembered what Sirius had said about Bellatrix, and then what he had said to Remus. The wolf inside of him was begging for revenge. And it wasn't as if Sirius would ever know…

Remus turned his head so that she was kissing his lips now. Their eyes locked for a second before closing, and Remus could have sworn that there was a sort of triumphant look on her face. But he didn't think much about it, because now her tongue was in his mouth, her hands in his hair, her heart beating against his chest as they drew closer together.

A sudden bark of bitter laughter broke them apart. Remus dreaded looking up, but he knew he had to. Sirius was leaning against a book shelf. His face was of a person who had just had his heart not broken, but exploded, just like James's badly mixed potion had done to his cauldron.

"Well. I came to talk, but I should have known that you aren't much of a talker, Lupin. Bellatrix, you come near me ever again, I'll murder you." He growled, his eyes fierce and bright. Remus had a dreading feeling that Sirius's eyes were so bright because of the tears that were welling up in his eyes.

"Oh Sirius, you don't seem to understand. You see, first I get your family's love, then I get your little boy toy here's love, quite easily I may add, and then you'll have nothing. Just like we had planned. Because I'll also be taking your life." Bellatrix said, her words no longer innocently curious, but charged with victory.

She calmly walked past Remus and Sirius, and out the door of the library. After a long silence, Sirius followed her.

Remus sat down in his chair and calmly continued his vampire essay, unaware until his ink started smudging that he was crying.

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**A/N**: Short and sweet. Well not sweet. Mwuha. I am TRES cruel… love teh angst. I do. Review! Or Bellatrix will seduce you! Hahahahaa… Hmm, what can I ruin next chapter? Oh, JPLE… mwuha… Just thought I'd give you a little heads up… Oh, also, what will happen with the full moon? Oooo-er!


	6. Swallowed a Toad

**A/N: **Sorry for the wait… Had a sudden attack of writers block. More angsty goodness for you. You know you love it. Sort of a filler, I apologize. I'm sort of doing all my summer reading before Sept. 5, so I've been a bit distracted. heh... But anyways, I'll probably have another chapter up within the week (hopefully).

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After every full moon, Remus would lie in the Hospitable Wing or on the dusty floor of the Shrieking Shack and wonder if things could possibly get worse. Later, he would think back to that moment and remind himself that things _could _possibly get worse- he still had his great friends, pretty good health, and the chance to study magic at one of the best schools in the world.

But it was still two days until the full moon and Remus felt, without any hope, that things couldn't get worse. It wasn't possible. James was mad at him, Lily was mad at James for being mad at him, Peter was being a bumbling idiot, he was doing terribly on his schoolwork, and worst of all, Sirius wouldn't even allow himself to be within ten feet of Remus.

It was midnight. One more midnight between him and the curse of lycanthropy. Remus rolled over onto his stomach and looked out the window nearby at the waxing moon, looking strangely lopsided and bloated. The pale moonlight poured through the window onto his face, and deep in his mind he felt the wolf stir ever so slightly.

Remus shook his head and rolled out of the moonlight. He knew that he was just imagining the wolf- all the books he read said that werewolves are completely and utterly uninfluenced by their wolf side except for during the full moon, of course. But he couldn't shake the feeling away, so he decided to take a walk. The terribleness of his situation right now had loosened his morals of rule-abiding dramatically.

Silently, so not to wake up his roommates, Remus dug into his truck and dragged out a sweatshirt, pulling it over his head, over his thin white t-shirt. He chose not to wear shoes- he felt so much more natural and quiet without them clunking around on his feet. Plus he hadn't exactly been fond of footwear since Sirius made his take a chunk out of his calf.

The corridors seemed deserted. He saw the Gray Lady pass by morosely, but she didn't spare him a glance. It was eerie, the way that no one was around, but Remus liked it. He had been spending so much time alone lately that he had come to enjoy it.

By this time, Remus realized how far he was from Gryffindor Tower. He was nearly in the dungeons. He quickly turned away from them- he hated the dungeons. They were so damp and dark; they reminded him of the basement of the Shrieking Shack.

Just as he was about to turn out of the hallway that lead to the dungeons, he realized that there was someone blatantly following him.

Remus whipped around, gritting his teeth and twisting his hands together in front of him. It was Bellatrix. It seemed like she was everywhere lately, it was frightening.

"Hello Remus!" She said jovially, but her eyes were like ice. "Strange place for a Gryffindor at this time of night. I might just have to inform a teacher!" She twisted a strand of her hair around her finger, looking strangely elegant in an tiny shirt and long pajama pants.

"Bellatrix." Remus replied stiffly. "I must remind you that you are also wandering the halls past curfew." She laughed haughtily, taking a few steps forward. Remus responded by staggering backwards. He didn't want to be anywhere near her.

"Oh, but you wouldn't tell." Bellatrix said silkily. "You see, I know what kind of person you are. You would kiss me, you would reprimand me, you would threaten me, but you would never… what's the word?... _tattle _on me."

Remus snarled angrily and took a step forward. "There's _nothing_ I wouldn't do anymore!" He neared her, drawing his wand from his pocket and jabbing it in her face.

Bellatrix laughed again, louder than before, so it echoed coldly in the hallway. She knocked Remus's wand from her face, and laid a long, hard kiss on his lips, before breaking away and shoving him backwards.

Remus fell to the floor, his wand bouncing away from him with a clatter. His face felt hot and his lips felt bruised. Bellatrix stood over him, looking about seven feet tall. "Run away, little wolf. Do not cross me." With that she turned on her heel and sauntered off.

With a sharp intake of breath, Remus snatched his wand and ran the rest of the way to Gryffindor Tower. He woke up the Fat Lady, who seemed deeply affronted, and muttered the password ("Vindicated!")

Remus fell into bed, his heart still racing. It was a long time before he fell asleep, staring at the back of Sirius's head.

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"Get out of my way!" Sirius growled. Remus stood shaking in the doorway. He had woken up with this _brilliant _plan, this _epiphany_. He would just have to _make _Sirius talk to him, force a confrontation, and maybe things would end up like they did last time- on top of a table. But now, facing the real, furious Sirius he thought that he might be bordering on insanity.

"Sirius- I need to… I need to talk to-" He tried to stammer out, but Sirius was already interrupting him.

"Remus, I really don't _care _what you _need_. Alright? So _move, _I need to get to breakfast!" He snarled, giving the werewolf a hefty shove. Remus let himself fall away to watch Sirius stomping out of the dormitory and down the stairs.

James brushed by as well, refusing to meet Remus's eye. When he found out what happened in the library from Sirius, James was being decidedly quiet. Lily had gotten mad at James for being like that; she seemed to think it was entirely Bellatrix's fault, and that Remus wouldn't do something like that.

So, Remus thought gloomily, on my shining list of accomplishments, I have alienating my two best friends, one of which may or may not have been my boyfriend, and caused the other to have a fight with the girl he has been trying to get for the past five years. Also, I got a Troll on my Potions essay.

Remus picked up an orb that they had been given to read whenever possible by their Divination teacher, and whipped it against the wall. There was a sickening crack, like the snapping of bones, and the orb split in half. Even more furious with himself that now he had destroyed school property, Remus quickly put the orb right and stormed down to breakfast.

James and Sirius were talking lazily, pushing their food around their plates. Neither were morning people, they couldn't eat when they weren't awake. But Remus vowed to change this.

"Wake up!" He snapped angrily, dropping his bag on the bench. "Alright, I know you two are pissed at me, even though you won't let me explain..." Sirius opened his mouth as if to interrupt, and Remus saw this as well. "Don't you interrupt; you've said enough, Black. Well, this is what I have to say. When you two are ready to be mature adults, then you can talk to me instead of muttering behind my back and James, be a man and talk to Lily, you coward."

Now that he had let it all out, Remus felt horrible. The looks on his two best friend's faces were unbearable, so he turned quickly and walked out. He had a free after breakfast, which meant James and Sirius would have lot of time to plot his downfall.

Remus found himself in the Gryffindor Common Room. All of a sudden someone knocked into him. He steadied himself to see Lily, looking rushed, leaning over him.

"God, I'm so sorry Remus, I just didn't want to miss breakfast… Wow, you look like you just got the Dementor's Kiss. What happened? Was it Black and Potter?" She asked concernedly while dragging him to his feet. As if this wasn't bad enough, Lily was now referring to James and Sirius by their last names again. It felt like last year again.

"Yes, Lily, but it was my fault, I yelled at them… Please get back together with James; I don't want to maul anymore relationships!" He said, rubbing his temples. Lily smiled and gave him a hug.

"You are so sweet, Remus." She murmured into his ear. Remus flushed slightly, and was about to refute this claim when someone else interrupted, per usual.

"Lily?" A hysterical voice cried. Remus tugged away from Lily's arms to see James standing there, looking like he had swallowed a frog, standing next to Sirius, who looked beside himself. Lily laughed, flipped her hair, and winked at Remus before trailing out of the Common Room, followed closely by James.

Sirius and Remus were left alone. Remus looked away and stepped back slightly as Sirius approached to go into the boy's dormitory. Remus swore that when he passed, Sirius muttered something.

Something that sounded suspiciously like "I hate you."

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It was the full moon again. Remus was lead by Madam Pompfrey again to the Whomping Willow. Remus had told Peter not to bother coming, a rat wouldn't be much help, and Sirius and James obviously weren't coming.

Remus sat down on the floor, waiting to feel the first pale ray of moonlight on the back of his neck, to feel his bones crunch…

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**A/N**: wicked look Well, this was sort of a filler chapter for what's next… I actually have a plan. Yay!

**Reviewer Responses**: Captain Oz- You are very welcome. Love your story! And I love making things collapse too ;) SlashyKitty- Oh you are welcome to have Bellatrix… Once I'm done with her… another wicked look QFan- Mwuhaha… fix things? I think not ;) But thanks for reviewing! checkmarks- I agree. Bellatrix killed Sirius ;; Thanks for reviewing!

And thank you to Ha., Karamela, Shunnow, Audrey G. Black, actually omniscient, Miranda, Clair, and Nyx Vasquez!


	7. A Certain Feline Spell

**A/N: **Thank you reviewers, again. Too lazy to do personal responses. Trying to get this up so I can go back to reading Dance Macabre. Mammy, a Stephen King book for summer reading. Ha…

**Disclaimer: **Once again, I disclaim.

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It had been a very long full moon. After tearing the bed and couch to bits, and scratching up the walls, Remus couldn't help but gnawing on his own legs until they bled so much that he collapsed, the darkness clouding over his eyes…

Remus woke up much later, the sun pouring into the Shrieking Shack, highlighting every claw mark, every scrap of cloth that littered the floor like snowflakes. He blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes, only to drop them immediately to the floor. They felt as though they were made of lead, and yet they looked utterly bloodless.

Something was digging into the small of his back. With a moan, Remus rolled over onto his stomach, his face pressed into the dusty wood floor. Whatever it was, it seemed like it was still stuck. Remus reached out to try and brush it off, cringing as his arms ached. All of a sudden he realized what it was.

A tail. Before he could even scream, it melted away in his hands, and then it was gone. But the panic was still clutching at his stomach, making sweat pour down his temple as he searched his mind for what the book had said. Something about… if the love wasn't reciprocated… the change could become permanent.

Remus gasped for air, and shakily stood up, ignoring the pounding pain that was seeping through his body. He grabbed at the doorknob, and managed to pull the door open before falling over.

There was a female shriek and Madam Pomphrey waddled in, followed closely by a gang of teachers, including Dumbledore. They all crowded around him, peering down at him like he was some sort of demented experiment.

"We _must _get him out of here- and will someone _please _tell me why he was still a werewolf in broad daylight?" The nurse said angrily, waving her wand about. Remus suddenly felt like he was lying on the softest, squishiest bed that had ever existed. The world around him lurched as he was thrust into the air, levitating merrily beside the teacher's heads.

"Please calm down, Poppy. Please take Mr. Lupin to the Infirmary. I will be around shortly. The rest of you, you may return to your afternoon classes. Thank you for your help." Dumbledore's voice alone calmed Remus down. It was alright- the _Headmaster _was involved. There could be nothing wrong.

Madam Pomphrey nodded and headed out the door, Remus trailing behind her. In a few minutes they were in the Hospitable Wing, and he was resting on a sterile white bed.

The nurse continued to give him disgusting potions ("You really lost a lot of blood, drink that replenishing potion…" "I hope that bone isn't broken, but just to be safe, drink this!" "Do you have a headache dear? Why don't you have a bit of this, it will help!") and bandaging him up until he was sure that there couldn't _possibly _be any more injuries bestowed upon him that she could fix.

Albus Dumbledore took this moment to sweep in, his purple robes billowing out behind him. He then calmly took a seat, looking at Remus expectantly.

"Uh, sir?" Remus said finally, wondering what he was supposed to say. The headmaster smiled sadly.

"Remus, I am aware that in your possession is a book on werewolves that explains the phenomenon that just befell us in perfect detail. Would you please relay to me the reason?" Dumbledore said softly, his blue eyes looking sparse without their usual sparkle.

"It says… er…" This was one conversation that Remus did _not _want to have with the million-year old Headmaster. But Dumbledore was looking at him expectantly again, so he nervously continued. "It said that if I fall in love with someone, and they don't… er… reciprocate those feelings then the changes will become longer and longer and then permanent."

Dumbledore nodded. "Well, that book is true on most levels, but it was written by an old, crazy werewolf, so it is a bit biased. The truth is, if a werewolf were to fall in love with someone, and they didn't respond verbally or physically, the changes would slowly become longer. If the person did respond, the changes would stop abruptly, though if they stopped responding, the changes would begin again, more violently."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "If you already knew, sir, why did you have me tell you?" He asked bluntly, and then inhaled sharply, afraid that he was about to be turned into a pumpkin.

To Remus's surprise and relief, Dumbledore simply laughed. "You know how we old, crazy men love to talk. Now, I suggest that you fix this problem that you have, and to use a certain feline spell on a certain Ms. Black…"

"Are you telling me to curse another student?" Remus asked in shock. Dumbledore blinked rapidly.

"I think you have had a few too many potions, Mr. Lupin. Why don't you get some rest?" He said calmly, his eyes twinkling again as he left the Infirmary.

Remus shook his head violently. That had not just happened.

Madam Pomphrey rushed in and placed his mountain of homework from that day on the bedside table, and then told him that he had to sleep first. After a quick argument, Remus found yet another potion, this one thick and sluggish as it slid down his throat, being foisted upon him.

Darkness clouded in his eyes again.

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After two days, Madam Pomphrey finally released him. Remus had done all of his homework, as there was nothing else to do, lying around in the Hospitable Wing. Peter and Lily had both come to see him a few times a day and James had even dropped in once to apologize for not being with him on the full moon, though he didn't look especially angst-ridden.

It was lunchtime when Remus found himself free from the clutches of the nurse. He strode dizzily into the Great Hall, and flopped down next to Lily, who was sitting alone, edgily poking her soup with her spoon.

"Remus! How do you feel?" She asked worriedly, grabbing his shoulder as he shook slightly, looking about ready to fall over.

"Where's Sirius?" He asked hoarsely, eying the Slytherin table. Bellatrix was there, and almost done eating.

"He'll be down any moment…" Lily said, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Why do you care? He's been terrible to you lately, ever since his cousin molested you…"

Remus snorted, reaching for the pitcher of water and sloppily pouring himself a glass. "Need to prove… Like James did…" Lily jumped about a foot into the air.

"You aren't going to stand on a table and declare your everlasting love, are you?" She asked worriedly, grabbing the goblet away from Remus as it began to spill everywhere.

"No silly. Something better than that…" Remus said with a wicked smile. Lily looked like she was about to stop him for a moment, and then went back to prodding her soup.

Time seemed to tick by very slowly. Sirius hadn't arrived yet. Bellatrix was about to leave. Remus looked nervously at Lily's watch. The seconds seemed to take an eternity.

He snapped his head back to see Bellatrix standing up, heading for the door. Annoyed at Sirius's lateness, Remus trailed innocently, wishing he would just _show up_.

Bellatrix was in the entrance hall now. She was starting to turn towards the dungeons. Remus willed with all his might for Sirius to arrive…

And then he did. Sirius burst into the entrance hall with James and Peter on opposite sides of him. Time to execute his plan.

"Hey! Hey! Ugly girl… Bellatrix is it?" Remus roared. The entire room silenced. He felt Sirius' eyes on him, along with what felt like a hundred milling students (it was really about twenty), and then a hundred and one as Bellatrix turned to face him, looking beyond livid.

"What did you say?" She asked in a low voice. "Be careful about your answer, little wolf…"

"You heard me! You are disgusting!" Remus goaded. He needed to get her mad enough to take out her wand, to attack him…

It seemed that Sirius wasn't the only Black with a temper. Bellatrix pointed her wand at him with a shaking hand. A flash of blood-red erupted from the end, which Remus ducked beneath, pulling out his wand and whispering the incantation.

"Felinify!"

It hit her square in the face

Bellatrix screeched as her nose turned bright orange and started to shift its shape, until it was one identical to the feline that was attached to Sirius's head a while ago.

He heard laughter around him, felt James's arm slung around his shoulders, heard compliments on how "bloody brilliant" that was, but Remus wasn't listening. He was looking for Sirius, who was standing a few feet away.

Their eyes met. Sirius raised and lifted one shoulder, and said, so quietly that only Remus could hear because he was listening for it, "I forgive you."

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**A/N**: HAHAHA but don't let this fool you, minions. Forgiveness isn't the same as snogging on tables. Bruhahaha… More angst to come. I promise. This was just a bit of comic-ish relief… I don't want you guys to drown in angst. And review or one of your body parts will turn into an angry orange cat!


	8. Unlike Wily Coyote

**A/N: Sorry it's been such a long time. School started. Yuck.**

Sirius couldn't concentrate. The pigeon in front of him still had not been made to flash different colors. Professor Flitwick had passed twice now, urging him to hurry along. But whenever he tried to fix his concentration on the bird, he felt someone _else's _eyes on the back of his neck, burning there like they were trying to set him on fire.

For what felt like the fiftieth time, Sirius turned around quickly. He caught Remus's eye for a moment, before Remus broke away and turned with a flush to his own pigeon, which was now merrily blinking from one color to another.

After a thousand tries, Sirius managed to complete the charm, just in time to get a passing grade and dash out of the room as they were dismissed.

But before he could sink out of sight, someone called his name.

"Sirius! Wait!" Remus called. Sirius had never been unhappier to hear his friend's voice. Grinding his teeth, Sirius turned, trying his best not to glare at the red face that awaited his gaze.

"Sirius, do you think that you could help me with that charm? I don't think I did it very well." He said quickly. It was obvious to him that he had just made this as an excuse.

"Really? Because your charm seemed to be perfect, on the pigeon, and on my ears before?" Sirius said challengingly, his stomach squirming with triumph as Remus took a step back.

"Okay… Well, we have Potions now! Will you walk with me?" He asked hopefully. Sirius tried to restrain himself from rolling his eyes, but partially failed, ending up looking like his eyes were convulsing.

"Actually, I have to go to the Tower to get my Potions book, so you can go ahead _alone_." Sirius said heavily, hoping that Remus would take the hint. They were friends; back to the best friends they were, for about an hour. And then the novelty of Remus's curse on Bellatrix wore off, and Sirius found himself being as trailed by the lycanthrope as James was by Peter.

"Oh, actually I forgot my book too, we can go together, because I really wanted to talk-" Remus began hastily. Sirius looked around desperately for an escape, and then saw one of his ex-girlfriends, leaping away with a quick, fake "sorry" to Remus.

**87 88 89**

Sirius felt very slick indeed. It had been a week since he had gotten sick of the new, dribbling Remus, and not once had he let himself be cornered. There had been a few tricky situations, but with Dungbombs, Peeves, and a few unlucky first years he managed to sneak out.

But Sirius had gotten too cocky, and Remus, unlike Wily Coyote, learned from his mistakes.

Sirius stepped out of the showers, drying off and pulling his clothes on. He had just reached for his toothpaste when he heard the door open and close quickly. And then his legs went rigid.

"Remus! Do the counter-jinx right now!" He wailed helplessly, lying on the damp marble floor, his toothbrush lying forlornly by his head.

"Well you see, we don't have Divination because someone enchanted a crystal ball to make Trelawney predict that she should cancel class today, so we have an entire block to spare. And I got you some breakfast, so you don't really need to go to the Great Hall either! So I thought we could talk!" Remus said jovially, his wand in one hand, a laden tray in the other.

"Um, no?" Sirius said hopefully, but he couldn't manage to stand up, only prop himself up against the bathroom wall as Remus filled his lap with food.

It was a long and awkward breakfast. Sirius was about ready to turn Remus's tongue into an ostrich when he ate the last of his bacon and his plate was finally empty.

Remus looked satisfied, like he thought that the breakfast had gone quite well. So well, that he managed to gather enough courage to press his lips clumsily against Sirius's…

Well, Remus was always a clumsy kisser, Sirius thought randomly. A clumsy fiend. The clumsy king. A clumsified monster… But is that a word? It should be…

Sirius suddenly realized that Remus had been kissing him for quite a bit. Spluttering, his used his only mobile limbs to shove the other boy away.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Sirius asked angrily, using this spare moment to snatch Remus's wand and free himself. He leapt to his feet, heading for the door, but Remus stopped him.

"Can't you just let it go? Alright? We are friends again; it's just a matter of time… And… The full moon… Just two weeks…" It was the werewolf's turn to be helpless.

"No, no, NO!" Sirius howled; the image of Bellatrix and Remus seared against the back of his eyelids. He roughly shoved Remus away from him. "And while you're at it, you can you know, stop considering us friends, unless you are going to stop acting like Peter and Sprout's lovechild!"

Feeling quite amused by his joke, Sirius stalked out of the room. He managed to make it halfway to the North Tower- (he hadn't really believed Remus's story) - but then he met Snape.

"What are you doing out and about, Black? Teaching Lupin more ways to sneak out of the castle? But, he does have Madam Pomphrey for that…" he trailed off. Sirius raised an eyebrow at this clumsy transition. Obviously Snape had been hanging around waiting, knowing that there was a fight, knowing where to stick the needle.

"You just want to know his secret, don't you?" Sirius drawled. He wondered whether he was more fed up with Remus or Snape at this point. And then, the idea came to him. It was so obvious. Fuck up both of their lives.

Before Snape could reply, Sirius quickly said, "Well, if you really do, then you can just go down to the Whomping Willow, and press the knot… Go down the tunnel, and you'll know."

"When?" Snape asked hungrily.

"Oh, two weeks. You know, around the **full moon**."

**A/N: hmm… not as angsty as I would have hoped, but it was a bit rushed. But you know me. Always more time for angst. D**


	9. Saturday Morning

**Oh the angst. I would warn you about this chapter, but I don't feel like it. Read at your own risk.**

** I also disclaim. Harry Potter belongs to... whoever... and the Death Cab song belongs to Death Cab for Cutie. Mmhmm.**

* * *

Cause I built you a home in my heart,  
With rotten wood, it decayed from the start.  
Cause you can't find nothing at all,  
If there was nothing there all along.

* * *

Remus opened his eyes, but then closed them again. 

Not again.

It was a _Saturday_.

But it was the full moon.

At least James and Peter would be there. Peter was going voluntarily, and James had agreed after Lily bullied him into it. But she called it "persuasion". Remus had never seen anyone persuade with rabid dogs.

Lazily he reached for his clock, picking it up and peering at the blaring red letters. It was nearly one- he had completely missed breakfast, and lunch was going to be over in ten minutes. But on full moon days, Remus didn't care about being punctual. He used full moon days to stay in bed and mope.

Today was definitely not going to be any different.

Remus dropped his clock on the floor and turned over in his bed, pulling the covers tight around his ears. He knew the dormitory would be empty- Sirius was leaping out of bed and out of class lately. They had had another fight just the day before.

"_You are so pathetic!"_

Sirius had been angrier than ever. He didn't even look slightly sad, like that day with Bellatrix in the library. He was bright red with his fury, and Remus knew it was only his promise to Dumbledore that he had made in the third year that kept Sirius from spilling the werewolf secret.

"_You think you can fix this?"_

Remus wanted to stay in this bed for the rest of forever. He wanted to wrap himself up in the comforter like a cocoon and never have to move again. Never have to go through a full moon, never have to seen Sirius snogging girls in the corridors, never have to see the D's and P's on his papers again.

"_You can't."_

If anything, being around Lily was nearly as bad. She was trying desperately to keep his spirits up, but she just reminded him of how he was acting. No wonder Sirius hated him.

"_There is nothing to fix!"_

Frustration boiled up inside of his chest. Without knowing it or even hearing himself, Remus let out a loud groan, digging his nails into his fists. The sharp pang woke him up, kept him from feeling like he was going to die with the terribleness of his situation.

"_There never _was _anything between us."_

Remus bit madly at his own knuckles. It was only a few moments before they were bleeding, his especially sharp canines drenched in his own blood. Gingerly he touched one of his raw hands, drawing the blood into an 'S' shape.

"_I was kidding myself thinking I actually liked you."_

He didn't move again for a long time. It was only when Peter came up to check on him around three that he realized how long he had been lying there, motionlessly. He told Peter that he was just tired, but that he'd be down in a moment.

"_How could anyone like you?"_

Only after Remus had washed away the blood, admired the new pink scars, and then carefully hid them with an easy charm did he really attempt to get dressed. It was harder then it looked. Every piece of clothing he owned seemed to remind him of Sirius. His scent, as faded as it was, was still intoxicating.

"_You disgust me_._"_

Remus was blindly aware of playing a few thousand games of wizard chess with Peter. In the back of his head, the full moon was looming over him already. His heart was throbbing, his eyes prickling every moment. It was good that Peter wasn't observant.

"_Don't bother talking to me, Remus."_

Remus licked his dry lips. Madam Pompfrey had dropped him off at the Whomping Willow, and then hurried off. He sat down in the middle of the floor, resting his head in the dust, waiting for James and Peter to arrive.

"_You aren't worth it."_

He wondered if it would have ended up this way if he had accepted Sirius right off the bat, instead of fending him off for a few weeks. He should have been brave, he could have still been friends, he would be with the other Marauders right now.

"_You never were._

_I hate you._

_Soon you'll know how much."_

Remus didn't even wonder what Sirius meant. It couldn't make the situation any worse, could it?

Could it?

**Dude, I wrote this in like, ten minutes. Sorry if it totally sucks.**


	10. Saturday Night

**Alright here, goes. I disclaim, etc. Harry Potter, the characters, the song Saturday Night by The Thrills. And thank you FangQueen13 for letting me know of my mistake. I'm really anal about stuff like that. heh.

* * *

**Is this what they call hate  
On a Saturday Night?

* * *

The moon was about to rise and neither James nor Peter had arrived. Remus had glumly accepted the fact that they probably weren't coming, and then silently waited. The moon had seemed to be taking its sweet time rising, during which Remus checked to make sure the door was locked and secure about a million times, that there were no weak spots in the walls, no living things that he could possibly harm. He didn't know why, but he had a bad feeling about this full moon.

Especially since he had gotten no love from Sirius, which may end up condemning him to life as a werewolf. Though it probably wouldn't last long, after a few days, the Ministry would probably kill him. It was far too risky to let a werewolf be around constantly.

As a last ditch effort, Remus tried to desperately remember what those tips had been- to fall out of love. Not that they would work even if he had months, let alone minutes. It couldn't hurt to try.

_Disconnect yourself totally from the person whom you love._

Well, he had done that for sure. Remus was sure there were no connections between him and Sirius. Well, there always would be, since Sirius knew his secret and Sirius had become an illegal Animagus for him. But other than that.

_Remember all of the flaws about the person._

Sirius's flaws… Well, he was hot-headed. Except that his anger was totally justified, mostly. But also, he was… petty! He had made out with that girl in front of Remus just to make him jealous. Well, that had been after Remus had blatantly ignored him. But other than that… this was hard!

_Find someone new._

That one might as well not exist, because for Remus, there was no one else.

Remus racked his brain but could not remember any others. It was good timing, though, because suddenly he felt his bones crunch oddly, yanked out of their sockets and into new ones, his organs tearing themselves apart and re-forming, his skin stretching as his muscles and face expanded, growing shaggy gray fur. And then there was nothing else. He closed his eyes. When he opened them again, there was just white.

* * *

Broken your bottles  
Thrown like American footballs  
Hey it's just jocks high on hormones

* * *

James blinked groggily and looked at his clock, feeling like he was late for something. The red numbers revealed that it was just past seven. James blinked and sat up. His little cat nap had taken him through five hours. And he still felt like he was missing something.

He looked out his window lazily. Someone was walking outside, towards the Forbidden Forrest, but he couldn't tell who it was until they stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight…

_Moonlight!_

Snape was walking towards the Whomping Willow during the full moon after Sirius and Remus had a fight. Of course.

James rushed out of his room, cursing himself. He received many strange stares as he dashed along the corridors wildly, knocking over first years who were in the way. But just as he reached the entrance hall, just as the doors came into sight, someone called his name.

"Potter! You aren't allowed out after dark!" McGonagall screeched, her robes billowing out. James cursed himself again. He forgot the Invisibility Cloak. But he couldn't dawdle, not even to give the Transfiguration teacher his _very _good excuse.

So before she reached him, James leapt out the door, hearing the footsteps and cheers behind him.

"POTTER!"

But James was already at the Whomping Willow. It was still frozen from when Snape had gotten to it. Maybe he could still make it.

But James paused at the entrance. Who was he doing this for? It wasn't like Remus was being a good friend, or that Snape was a good person.

Suddenly a howl of triumph knocked James out of his murderous thoughts. He shot down the hallway, and burst into the Shrieking Shack to see Moony bounding across the room to a petrified Snape.

With one fluid motion, James snatched the back of Snape's robes and threw him bodily backwards, and closed the door behind him. Moony had paused now, bewildered for a moment, and James used that moment to his advantage, turning into his Animagus form, willing himself to transform faster.

By the time Moony had gathered up his silly werewolf thoughts, James was a stag. Moony pounced at him and knocked him to his side, and James knew it wasn't playful this month.

* * *

Is this what they call hate?

* * *

Sirius perched on the window sill, watching. There was a huddled mass of people gathered outside of the Whomping Willow, all teachers, most likely. Two of them were supporting another, slumped figure. Hopefully that was Snape, and his face had been mauled off by Lupin.

There was a far away clinking noise, and Sirius realized he had dropped his bottle of fire whisky. It had dropped straight down onto the stone outcropping below, and shattered, sending pieces of glass everywhere.

Dully, Sirius tumbled backwards onto the carpeted floor, and managed to stumble down into the common room. There was an uproar of voices as he entered and a crowd of people bombarded him with questions. Peter looked on apologetically.

From snatches of conversation, Sirius drunkenly put together that Snape and James were in the Hospital Wing. There were all sorts of stories about what had happened, including one very imaginative one that involved a giant, an enchanted Bludger, and a few well-Transfigured rocks.

"Shut up!" Sirius said feebly, and he turned immediately to go back to bed. Probably Snape and James had gotten in a fight. Probably. Maybe.

* * *

Is this what they call hate  
On a Saturday Night?

* * *

**I may update soon. Or I may be evil and plot every last detail before decided to type it up and upload it. Whatever. Bwaha. **


	11. Beastly Child

**Here you go**

"You have three days, Albus." The Minister of Magic said quite firmly, pacing around the small, round office agitatedly.

"Surely a little more time couldn't hurt… A week, if you would." The Headmaster asked reasonably.

"I'm sorry, Albus, but it isn't my decision. I've met the boy, he's quite nice, but we can't have a full-time werewolf roaming Hogwarts. It has been discussed, and you have three days. If he isn't human in three days, then… well, you know. I'm very sorry."

Dumbledore watched as the Minister of Magic disappeared into the green fire. He sat quite calmly at his desk, pondering for a few moments, and then turned to one of the portraits that were watching him eagerly.

"Would one of you please go tell Mr. Sirius Black that I wish to see him? He'll be in the Infirmary." Albus said finally. At once, half of the portraits emptied. They all wanted to be useful to the Headmaster in such a perilous time.

In a few minutes, the portraits returned, and then a few minutes after that, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in." Dumbledore said solemnly, and watched with cool eyes as Sirius skulked into the room, not meeting Dumbledore's eyes.

"Beastly child," one of the female portraits commented. Sirius flushed and examined his fingers.

"Sirius, we've already discussed this. You know what you have to do, and you have three days to do it." Dumbledore said coolly. Sirius gaped at him.

"But he's in full-out werewolf form. He'll attack me if I go near him!" Sirius whined. Dumbledore's eyes glinted slightly with slyness.

"Technically, he's partially human, so I'm sure you'll find a way. Now, do you want an animal cracker?" Dumbledore said, slightly kindly. Sirius stared blankly at him, but took a cracker out of the proffered box.

It was a dog. Sirius laughed, and walked out the door without a goodbye.

xo

Sirius slowly opened the door of the Shrieking Shack, concentrating on becoming the dog that had become so natural to him. He fell to the floor as his bones shifted and his skin covered in fur.

The moment he was completely transformed, he started searching the room for Moony. He could smell him, it was blatantly there. But where was he?

All of a sudden, what Sirius had thought was a pile of raggedy blankets moved. With a slightly yelp of pity, Sirius padded over, nudging the strange humanoid with his nose. It fell onto its back, revealing its face.

It was definitely Remus. His face was cut up and bruised, and one of his ears was still one of a wolf's, as was his lower body. It looked like more than one of his bones had broken, and his fingers looked like raw meat.

Sirius whined and snuggled up to the mauled thing, licking its face. Sirius hadn't felt guilty the past three days much. He had felt bad that James had gotten injured, but he didn't feel at all bad about Snape, who was milking up his bruised back so much it was sickening.

But now, seeing Remus, torn apart, he felt guilty. His poor, lovely Remus. He pushed his canine form as close as he could to Remus's without breaking any more bones, and rested his wet nose on Remus's neck.

"Sirius?" The quiet, pleading noise shook Sirius from his stupor. Remus had woken up. And his ears and legs were normal again, albeit shattered.

"Remus…" Sirius whispered back.

"Can I go to the Hospitable Wing?" He asked immediately. Sirius quite nearly laughed, and rose to his feet.

"Of course." Sirius murmured, scooping Remus up and carrying him tenderly out of the Shack.

Madam Pomphrey was haunting the exit. She stole Remus away from Sirius and hurried off.

**But don't you think this is the end. Bwuhahaha. **


	12. Bright Red and Wordless

**Ready, set, angst.  
All my reviewers, I love you all dearly.  
**

Remus opened his eyes to see a whole lot of white. Squinting, Remus tried to figure out where he was. He felt a white linen blanket pinning him to a bed, and Madam Pomphrey bustling about, so he was guessing it was the Infirmary.

In the corner of his eye, he saw something twitch and move, so quickly that it hurt his head. Soon Sirius was sitting on the foot of his bed, peering at him closely.

"You're awake." Sirius stated plainly. _Only a little_, Remus thought, his skull pounding. Sirius's voice was far too loud to be normal. And this light… all this light was painful.

Groaning, Remus propped himself up against the head of the bed. He tried to rub his eyes, only to find his hand covered in bandages, and his arm, and most of his face.

"What… happened?" he asked. He found his entire throat felt like it was on fire, and with every syllable he spoke it got worse. Sirius looked away, admiring the contrast of his black shoe against the perfectly white blanket.

"You don't remember?" Sirius muttered. He kept his eyes downcast.

Remus shook his head, and then winced as he discovered that movement did not help his head ache. Sirius glanced at him nervously, and then gulped so hard that it hurt Remus's throat just to look at him.

"Well, Snape found out… About you… He went to the Willow, and James stopped him, and got a little injured, but they are both alright… But you were a werewolf for three days after that, so Dumbledore told me about the whole love thing, and… well, the gist is that you're alright now." Sirius concluded his monologue brightly, but Remus was already feeling nauseous.

"How did Snape find out?" Remus asked hoarsely. Sirius opened and closed his mouth several times, looking slightly guilty. Remus repeated his question, louder this time, but careful not to be loud enough to attract Madam Pomphrey's attention.

"He says that he just figured it out, the slimy git!" Sirius finally said, still looking away. Remus looked at him oddly, but quickly let the moment pass, in favor of a happier one.

As gingerly as he could manage, Remus leaned forward and pulled Sirius onto the bed, wanting to hug him for doing what he did, but all of a sudden there was no strength in his arms. However, Sirius slid down without complaint, and they sat that way for a few moments, before Sirius let out a dry sob, covering his face with his hands.

"I'm so sorry, Remus, I'm so, so sorry!" Sirius whispered through his fingers. But Remus didn't even have time to comfort him before James burst into the room, bright red and wordless.

Quite nearly happy to see another Marauder, Remus began to speak, but the look on James's face silenced him. Fortunately, the blind fury on his face wasn't directed at him. Strangely enough, it was towards Sirius.

Not saying a word, James grabbed Sirius by the wrist roughly and hauled him out of the room, into the hallway. After a few seconds where Remus listened with shortened breath, there was a huge explosion that sent the door flying. It hit another bed and snapped in half, falling broken to the floor.

Madam Pomphrey heard _that_. But by the time she had rushed out of her office, wand raised, James and Sirius had disappeared.

Angry that the vandalism of her Hospitable Wing would go unpunished, the nurse put all of her energy into fluffy Remus's pillows, and forcing things down his throat, namely chocolate and potions. One of the potions was a Sleeping Draught, so Remus found himself unwillingly drifting off again.

Utterly frustrated that he was left in the dark, Remus tried in vain to fight the Sleeping Draught, but in moments he was drifting off. His last conscious thought before falling asleep was that he was happy that Sirius was with him again.

**The horror! The angst! The inevitable blow-up! More explosions! In fact, I will have one explosion per review. Twaha. On my honor! Oh the ideas I come up with typing these little things at the end!**

**I didn't really like this chapter, the actual wording, etc., so feel free to critize... Also, if you seen any errors, just put it in your review and I'll fix it up quick-like. -) Unfortunately, I don't have the best editorial eye. Mmmhmmm... So review, or the world will be explosion-less.  
**


	13. Eleven Explosions

**I felt inspired (maybe because of all your LOVELY reviews!), ergo the quick update. I wonder if I used ergo correctly. It's just such a funny word. Ergo. Hahaha. Also, as promised, eleven explosions, as that was how many reviews there was when I wrote this up.**

The next time that Remus woke up was, if it was possible, even less pleasant. The moment that he opened his eyes, the light felt bright enough to blind him for eternity, and the slight sound of the ticking clock felt loud enough to make his eardrums bleed.

Madam Pomphrey found him with his eyes squeezed shut, his bandaged hands pushed awkwardly to his ears. She made an angry clicking noise like it was _his _fault that he was unbearable pain. The injustice of this made Remus's face fill with heat and color.

However, when the nurse gave him enough potions to dull the pain of existence, Remus forgave her. She then disappeared into her office, with instructions that he should remain in bed.

When the clicking of her footsteps disappeared, Remus leapt upwards. He was wearing a pressed smock of some sort that hung widely enough to be a dress. After discovering his clothes folded neatly under his bed, Remus tore it off and pulled his robes on. He found his wand in the pocket.

The hallways were drafty and cold and the normal sounds of everyday life seemed to be magnified, but other than that, Remus felt perfectly normal. He drifted along the empty corridor, past many full classrooms, and then wandered back into the Gryffindor common room.

It was devoid of life and movement. Remus sank down into one of the huge armchairs, closing his eyes and resting peacefully. His meditation lasted only until he felt something dry and flaky brushing against his calf. With a muted horror, he realized it was dried blood. It had stayed on his robes- which were apparently not cleaned. This didn't disturb Remus as much as it should- he assumed it was the excessive amount of painkillers that Pomphrey had given him.

He limped up the staircase to the Gryffindor dormitory, collapsing onto his bed. He felt too tired now to take a shower, as he had intended. Once again he slipped into his meditative state.

This time, he was interrupted by something much louder. The door popped open and fireworks exploded on the scene, singing everything within its reach.

Remus squinted against the sudden blast of color, and saw James and Peter creeping towards him with sickly happy smiles on their faces.

"We checked in the Infirmary, and you weren't there, so we assumed you'd be here! And you are! Are you all better?" James asked with concern. Remus managed to smile weakly and sit up, and then move his legs away quick enough to make sure that Peter and James didn't sit on them.

They continued to look at him with their strange smiles. Remus stopped smiling back and just stared at them curiously. Finally, James spoke.

"You look, almost, alright?" He said questioningly. Remus raised and lowered one shoulder. Peter's eyebrows furrowed.

"But, we thought you'd be either jumping off buildings or after Sirius's blood!" he exclaimed finally. Remus gave him a strange look.

"Why would I be after Sirius's blood? He saved me!" There was a cloud of unease drifting into Remus's mind. Sirius had been acting oddly in the Hospital Wing.

"Well, because he told Snape." Peter said quietly, as if he was in a library. Remus felt his face grow hot, too hot, and wondered in the back of his mind if he had a fever. But there wasn't much time for thought.

"WHAT?" Remus shouted. In his pocket, his wand gave off a huge explosion, tearing off the bottom part of the robe. James and Peter leapt out of the way, crashing together and then into another bed as they scrambled to get away.

By the time they realized that they should stop him, Remus had calmly gotten dressed in a new set of robes, collected his wand (which was still sputtering bits of flame), a few of James's fireworks, and walked out the door.

xo

Sirius was sitting out next to the pond. The squid was lying listlessly in the shallows. It was sunny and warm outside, a perfect day, but a strange day for the end of winter. A slug crept in front of his shoe, leaving behind a disgusting trail of slime.

Remus would find out someway, Sirius knew. It was inevitable. But hopefully by that point, Sirius would have been such a good and attentive boyfriend that he would be forgiven.

"BLACK!" Remus's voice howled across the grounds. Sirius knew in one heart-wrenching moment that he knew. He leapt to his feet, and accidentally stepped on the slug, which exploded with slimy relish.

Dripping with slug innards, Sirius turned to face Remus, who was already halfway to him. He had expected to have a bit of a verbal duel before anyone got physically hurt, but not a second had passed after he had come to that conclusion when the dirt before his feet colorfully exploded.

With ironic shock, Sirius realized that Remus had let off a firework at him- one of the fireworks that he and James had made together.

Now Remus was before him, his hands and face still partially bandaged. He was spitting and screaming like a mad cat, but Sirius didn't understand a word he was saying. He just looked on, wary.

His wariness was rewarded as he nimbly leapt aside as Remus threw a firework at the ground, and it exploded, turning the grass into ashes easily.

Sirius waited as Remus screeched at him, and then when the other paused for a breath, attempted to cut in.

"Remus, I just want you to know I'm really sorry and-" suddenly there was a wand at his throat. Remus's eyes were bright yellow, the color of a wolf's. Sirius trembled spastically.

"What can you possibly say that won't make me blow your head off." He growled.

"I love you!" Sirius tried helplessly, as the point of the wand dug deeper into his jugular.

"I don't care." Remus said simply. With a final shove, the werewolf left.

Sirius collapsed onto the grass. He didn't even move when a frail tree near him exploded when Remus threw another firework.

xo

Dinner was a subdued affair. Remus still hadn't been caught by Madam Pomphrey running around the castle, and Sirius hadn't shown up. No one knew where he was, even, and as far as the other Marauders were concerned, no one cared.

Remus had nearly finished his stew when the doors creaked open to let in another person. He turned to look automatically, and then nearly cracked his spoon in half when he saw who it was.

He was dimly aware of James trying to remove the wand from his grip, which was already crackling, and of Peter pleading with him to sit back down. But his main focus was the person who had just walked in. None other than Sirius, of course.

"Sirius, run away!" someone yelled. But Sirius continued walking. When they were a foot away from each other, they circled one another carefully. Remus waited until Sirius's back was to the table.

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but Remus had already raised his want. With a quick flick, Sirius was thrown backwards. His head collapsed onto the glass bowl of pudding, sending shards of glass exploding outwards.

There was a dead silence in the hall. Even the teachers didn't know what to say. Finally, a strangled cry was issued from another Gryffindor, at the other end of the table.

"Remus, please, stop!" Remus turned his steely gaze to the girl who had issued the plea. Lily.

All of his anger and violence came flooding back, stronger now, and with a new, fresher target. He raised his wand.

There were two sudden explosions of light. One had been issued from Remus's wand, heading like a bullet to Lily, but the other was from James's. The latter was the stronger one, and Remus's attack easily bounced off of it.

Finally the teachers decided to step in. Remus was frog marched off to the Infirmary, and James was yelled at by McGonagall for an easy fifteen minutes, and then rewarded twenty points for defending an innocent student.

xo

Once again, Remus did not stay for long in the Hospital Wing. He had two months of solid detention, and fifty points for Gryffindor. Surely it couldn't get worse.

The stone floor was harsh and unforgiving under his bare feet. They had taken away his shoes, hoping it would discourage him from leaving again. It didn't work.

Remus was halfway to Gryffindor Tower when light suddenly exploded out of an unknown source, illuminating the hallway. Remus sighed and turned around.

"Mr. Lupin. I thought that you would have learned the error of your ways already." Dumbledore's cool voice pondered. Remus turned a pale pink and looked madly for an escape, but only ended up making his head hurt more. Dumbledore seemed not to notice any of this.

"Well, what are you going to do?" Remus finally asked when the silence had become too much. Dumbledore smiled.

"I am going to turn off the light, return to my room, and pretend this little incident never happened. However, if I hear later that there were any disturbances in Gryffindor Tower, then I may have to take other actions." Dumbledore said plainly. In an instant, the light was gone. Remus didn't even hear Dumbledore's footsteps, or his breathing. It was as if he vanished.

xo

In the end, Remus had returned to the Hospital Wing, after thinking very carefully about it. By the time that he had come to this conclusion, however, the sun was beginning to rise. When he entered the room, Madam Pomphrey exploded at him, yelling and disciplining, but in the end she did nothing except to spoon the multitude of potions slightly rougher than usual into his mouth.

It was another three days until he was released from her care. Though he had detention, Remus was already planning on getting into trouble…

xo

**phew. That was long. Nearly 2000 words! And all thanks to your reviews, which made me keep writing because I had to include so many freaking explosions. It got a little messy at the end, I know, but I rather liked the slug one. Teehee.**

anyways, review! because who doesn't want to be loved by me? heee


	14. The Mongoose Chapter

**I am SO sorry this took so long. I was banned from the computer. Pssh. But I wrote it allll up, and three one-shots, too, if you want to check them out. I'll try to get the next chapter up sooner.**

So I needed to get rid of Bellatrix, hence this chapter.

Remus sat at breakfast, fully recovered. With slow, even strokes, he covered a bit of toast with raspberry jam. Small snatches of conversation ebbed around him. A few people were still looking at him with fear in their eyes. He was the one, after all, who had made a rabid mongoose chase Sirius Black around the school until three teachers finally got rid of it. It had added another month's worth of detention, but it had made Remus very happy.

James coughed anxiously, but Remus ignored him and took a bite of his toast. He savored the fruity flavor at the brittle crunch underneath.

Absentmindedly, he looked at his schedule. It was double Herbology, then lunch, Transfiguration, and Charms. He was already excelling in his studies again; he was doing all his homework, doing all the spells, and reading all the material. It wasn't as if there was anything else he could do.

Someone sat down a few seats away from him. Remus looked up to see Sirius, flushed, probing the plate of scrambled eggs.

Remus tried to bring himself to care, but he couldn't. He had worked out all of his rage and now he was just tired. Hating someone was exhausting, he found.

Soon breakfast was over. Most of the Gryffindor 6th years headed out into the brisk, pre-spring air, making for the greenhouses. James and Peter were hanging on Remus and looking worriedly at Sirius, but Remus continued to not care.

Herbology was uneventful and dull, as was Transfiguration. In Charms, Remus and Sirius were paired together, but they did not talk more than was necessary.

Soon it was dinner. Everyone was nearly done eating when a shy-looking first year approached Remus, shuffling her feet and fidgeting with her green and silver pin. He looked up politely, waiting for her to explain herself.

"Bellatrix Black sent me to tell you that she is having a going away party tomorrow night because she's transfering to Durmstrang, and she wants you to come. It's at nine." The first year said. Remus could tell everyone was watching him- especially Sirius.

"Tell her I'll be there!" Remus said, more loudly than he had to. The first year leapt back, because even she had heard of the incident with the mongoose, and then ran off. Remus smiled.

"Are you honestly going?" James asked incredulously. Remus smirked at him.

"Yeah, you wanna be my date?" he asked with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows that turned James crimson.

"Kidding," he added as an afterthought, "but will you come with me? I don't want to go alone."

James laughed. "Me, at a Slytherin party? Sure, should be fun."

Remus noted that his eyes flickered to Sirius quickly before he returned to his dinner.

xo

Remus was amazed it was the next day already. Lily had tired to direct him on what to wear, but he hardly listened. He just put on some jeans and a black t-shirt. James was dressed more or less the same, and looking very nervous.

"What if it's a trap? It could be a trap, they could kill us! Or worse, what if they think we're a couple? I don't want to deal with rumors, Remus!" James whined. Remus just laughed and led the way down to the dungeons. Luckily, McGonagall had forgotten to tell him not to use magic to wash the trophy room, so he finished quickly. Or maybe it wasn't luck- McGonagall wasn't very excited about giving Remus more detention than Sirius. In fact, she was being unnecessarily lax towards Remus. An old softie really.

"It's not a trick, calm down." Remus said with a laugh. "And they won't think we're a couple, because I bet even _they_ can hear you and Lily shagging."

James turned pink and quiet. They were at the dungeons now. They found a first-year waiting to open the door for them.

Inside, the party was raging. An inhumane amount of alcohol was available, and some loud music was banging their eardrums. There was a large, messy banner that declared "Everyone will miss you, Bellatrix!" in sloppy red letters.

Bellatrix appeared out of nowhere just in time to scare Remus and James half to death. She took Remus by the hand and snaked him away through the crowd. Apparently all was forgiven on the nose-cat front.

xo

Remus couldn't remember exactly what happened, but he knew the big picture. There was a lot of alcohol, and Bellatrix had kept supplying him with it. He thought he remembered dancing, maybe on a table. He definitely remembered Bellatrix kissing him, and him asking why, and her saying because she hated Black. That was a good enough reason for Remus.

He woke up with a pounding headache in Bellatrix's bed. The sun was pouring into the room. No one was around.

Remus groaned, and collected his clothing. It must be around lunch time.

Luckily for him, the Common Room was deserted, so he was able to sneak through it.

James laughed at him when he crawled into his bed and shut the drapes. He heard Sirius asking what happened, and James growing silent. Then that's all there was, silence.

He wondered if it was like this for everyone after they lost their virginity to their ex-boyfriend's cousin.

xo

Remus woke up around dinner time, his stomach feeling like it was about to eat itself. He hauled himself down the stairs, and tumbled for the exit, when someone grabbed his arm.

He turned around, his head falling to one side. It was Sirius, angry Sirius, funny Sirius because Sirius's bangs were too long and they kept getting in his eyes.

Remus laughed. Sirius glared at him.

"Did you have sex with my cousin?" he asked. Remus wondered what he was most mad about: That he slept with a Slytherin, that he slept with Bellatrix, that he slept with Sirius's family, or that he just didn't sleep with him.

"Yes." Remus said, not to hurt Sirius's feelings but because it was true.

"Why?" Sirius asked and Remus knew he was asking _why her and not me?_

"Why not?" Remus said, only because he didn't have a good answer off hand. Sirius sighed and left.

Remus's stomach reminded him that he was hungry, so he went down to dinner.

**bwuhahaha i pwn remus. and bellatrix is gone. for now. until i need another hot evil girl. bwuha.**


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